Inside, Helena had the look of disgust on her face. You know the look you make when your finger breaks thru the toilet paper when you’re wiping—–yes that look! It looked like River Monsters, 75% discounted strippers, Nickelodeon, Ringling Brothers rejects, a retirement home, The Looney Tunes, Halloween, and a failed prison system all threw up in the same place.

“It is soooooooo disrespectful in here!”

“I know Al, damn these are the most fucked up bunch of people I have ever seen in my life, “Bette says.

“For a second I thought I walked into a Walmart, “Tina says looking disgusted.

While everyone is standing in shock taking in the scene a drunken man dressed like a department store Santa Clause reject stands behind Bette, grabs her waist, starts grinding on her, and singing.

“What a feeling—-Beings believing—-I can have it all—-Now I’m dancing for my life!”

Bette feeling something poking her in the back turns around facing the man, “Hey—hey, what the hell are you doing and what was that poking me in my back?”

Taking another swig from his whiskey bottle, “Oh that, that’s Mr. Rumple-foreskin and he wants to grant you three wishes!”

“If you don’t get that drunk wrinkled chewed up pork rind off me and stop singing that fucking song from Flashdance I hate that movie, “Bette says pushing Santa to the floor.

Santa stumbling to get on his feet, “Awww woman don’t be like that I was just getting into the Christmas spirit..ho…ho…ho, “he says winking and walking away from her.

“Wait did he just call me a hoe?”

“Uh, I’m confused was that Santa Clause or Marc Anthony cause he looks like he could grate a block of cheese on his ribs, “Alice says.

Shane is trying not to be so obvious but she couldn’t stop staring there were tittys and more tittys every which way she looked! She was a like a kid at a candy store there were chocolate, vanilla, kiwi-lime, hazelnut, jiffy cornmeal, grape fruit, pizza rolls, big league chew, and peanut butter and jelly flavored!  Oh and there was even her personal favorite the now and later flavored tittys. You know suck one now and save the other for later!

“Uh, you see something you like, “Carmen asked Shane.