This one-off is inspired by the little Charlie’s Angels scene in L word.

Once upon a time, there were three little lesbians who just hung out at a coffee shop. But I changed all that. And now they work for me. My name is Beth.
Beth’s voice from a machine sitting on the coffee table: ”Good morning, lesbians.”
Lesbians: ”Good morning, Beth.”
Beth: ”Ladies, I have a new mission for you. It involves going undercover.”
Tina in a nerdy suit: ”Okay lesbians, what do you think?”
Alice flipped her hair back and said her line: ”It sure sounds dangerous. Are you sure it’s not going to ruin our hair?”
Beth: ”I promise you girls I won’t let anything happen to your hair or make up.”
Acting her part, Alice threw her head back and laughed a little but her mind was screaming. Where the fuck did you get this wig Porter!!! It itches like son of a bitch!
Beth: ”Helen?”
Helena: ”Count me in, Beth?” I sure as hell won’t be doing this if you hadn’t promise to sleep with me..and this ugly blue dress…uck!
Shane in a really girlish voice said her line: ”Of course we are in. But are you sure these gaydar guns are really gonna work?” Fucking Porter..made me give up smoking for a week this shit.
Tina: ”Well it’d better work because the target has just entered the room.”
Jenny danced into room, looked around a little, closed her eyes and acted like she almost had an orgasm.
Tina:”Okay lesbians, go get ’em.”
Shane:”Come on girls, let’s get her.”
Alice, Helena and Shane bounced into the middle of the room, waving their gaydar guns around.
”CUT!!!”
Bette got up from her chair in the corner of room and yelled. ”WHAT THE HELL!! Alice, why the fuck are you in front of the mirror?!!! And Helena, you are supposed the point that thing at Jenny not Alice!” Rolling her eyes, Bette searched the room. ”Where the fuck is Shane?”

Shane popped out from behind the counter. ”Thought I was supposed the hide behind the counter..what..” Shane scratched her head. ”Did I do something wrong?”
Bette pulled at her own hair, ready to explode. I am going to fail. I am fucking going to fail. You see..Bette had to produce a short film for her movie-making class so she had asked her buddies to help her out.
”Beeeeetteeeeeee..” Tina whined and pressed head in Bette’s chest. ”I don’t want the stupid guy role. Can’t you cast me as one of the angels?” Pale fingers toying with a button. ”I’ll make it worth your while.” She let a breathy moan filled Bette’s ear.
”Not now, honey.” Bette clenched her jaw tight.
”Beeeeetteeeeeeeeeeee.. this wig itches like hell..where did you buy this thing?!!” Alice whined as she took the wig off and dug her nails into her scalp.
”PUT THAT BACK ON, ALICE!” The wannabe director yelled.
”Fuck this..I am going out for a smoke.” Shane said in her normal low and husky voice.
”NOBODY MOVES!” Bette shouted. She then took a deep breath. ”Okay listen. Be a pal. Do this for right and breakfast is on me for the whole week.” Disinterested faces met her. Bette sighed. ”Plus…drinks at MILK are also on me for seven nights..okay?” Now, grinning faces met her.
”Okay..let’s start again.” Bette crossed the room and leaned against the wall.
”Action!”
Helena started pointing her gaydar gun at Alice again and fired. The tiny display screen on the gun showed -BISEXUAL-.
”Hey..Bette! This gun is broken. It says Alice is a bisexual.” Helena studied it curiously.
”HELENA! Alice is a bisexual!!” explained the frusrated brunette.
”Hey..I was a bisexual..WAS..past tense.” Alice defended.
Deep breath. Deep breath. ”Just…ugh…Helena, just carry on..what it says on the gun doesn’t matter.”
”Action!”
Helena played her part then Shane popped up from behind the counter. She aimed her gun and fired at Jenny. The display screen on the gun flickered rapidly, the words changing from -GAY- to -STRAIGHT- then to -GAY- again then nothing.
”Hey Bette..my gun is fucked..can I get another one?”
Bette just turned her face and bang her head on the wall over and over.