Today was Bette and Tina’s first couple’s therapy session with Dr. Emma. They had agreed to meet at 1:30 at the restaurant for lunch; everyone was prompt. After greeting each other with hugs and kisses they were seated. The server took their order, served drinks and appetizers then left them alone until the main course was brought out.

It was another beautiful spring day in Southern California and the patio seating provided a nice ambiance. Since it was relatively late for lunch they didn’t have a lot of people seated close by. The busiest time for the restaurant was between 11:30 and 1:00p.

Bette, Tina and Emma felt comfortable having intimate conversations so although it was therapeutic it just seemed more like a discussion amongst friends.

“I must say you two look absolutely stunning. You always do but there is definitely something different about seeing you together like this.”

“Thanks doc. We’re just happy to no longer be hiding and running away from our feelings.”

“Yeah. We are doc. I think the difference is that we’ve broken through the barriers that we erected over the years to protect ourselves.”

“That’s good to hear and it’s an excellent place to start Tina. I know you two want to keep these discussions casual and I like the idea of doing the couple sessions during lunch on weekdays. We can schedule maybe one Saturday a month to touch base with Angie unless you feel like there are any problems brewing that would require more frequency. I’d like to see you two every other week for starters and then once a month after that.”

“That works for us.” Bette answered for both of them. Tina’s nodding in agreement.

“OK then, before we start I want to outline some guidelines for us to follow in these sessions and in your private discussions to make sure we are getting the most out of them. It’s not going to be rigid and structured but as we get deeper into this we will need some ‘rules of conduct’ so to speak. Problems are a part of life. Just because you love each other doesn’t mean that you won’t have conflict. Some conflict is actually good because it means neither one of you is acquiescing to the other just to keep the peace. What we need to establish is how to handle those conflicts and bring them to resolution in a healthy manner that strengthens the relationship not tear it apart. You have to work on the relationship and it will require time and effort and a few hard lessons along the way. Are you with me so far?