Paul and Julia left Bette and Tina alone for a couple of hours to have what they called a purging and cleansing session. They were to use the time to talk through any lingering issues that hindered their ability to have open honest communication. Bette had probed Tina to find out why it was that she found it so difficult to tell Bette things that she so freely shared with Alice and the rest of their friends. Most every time that Tina kept a secret from Bette or wasn’t forthcoming with information she would blame it on the fact that ‘it wasn’t easy’ to tell Bette things. As it turned out the main reason was that Tina feared Bette’s reactions. In her mind she would work out scenarios and anticipate how Bette would react without ever giving Bette the chance to actually react. Bette was hurt by the fact that Tina always assumed the worse; whether it was that she’d lose her temper, try to manipulate the situation; bully her way into getting her own way; running away or shutting down. She never gave Bette the benefit of the doubt that she could react in a positive, calm, caring and understanding manner.

Bette then asked Tina what would be one of the most difficult conversations that she currently needed to have that she now feared. Needless to say it was regarding her feelings for men and her rendezvous with Josh Becker in Vancouver. Bette took this opportunity to prompt Tina to talk about it and encouraged her to be as honest and open as she would be if she were talking with Alice with whom she seemed to have no reservations about going into intimate detail. Tina had a hard time getting started still not sure how fortified Bette was by her resolve to deal with whatever Tina had to say but she decided to take the bull by the horns when Bette asked a leading question … ”What is it that you felt you needed from a man that I couldn’t give you Tee?”

“It wasn’t anything that I needed from a man Bette but rather something they made me feel. It was likely the same thing that led you into the arms of another woman. It was something we felt for each other so much in the beginning of our love but then we lost it along the way. It wasn’t until I opened myself up to the possibility that I was able to find it with someone else. My feelings for men; Daddyof2, my attraction to Josh Becker even my being with Helena they all had one thing in common.”