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    What do I do wrong?

    “I’m sorry. Fuck. I’m just … I’m so sorry.”

    “It’s OK. It’s OK. Look it’s OK to cry. You can cry with me.”

    Tina’s comforting tone, and gentle touch is taking effect to calm Bette’s overwrought emotional state. They were seated on the steps of the deck in Bette’s backyard where Tina had found her several minutes earlier sobbing uncontrollably. It wasn’t until Tina coaxed her ex-wife into looking up, held her face with both hands and wiped the tears from her cheeks with her thumbs that they subsided.

    “It’s OK. Come here.”

    Tina pulled Bette into a hug. She stroked her back with one hand, and tangled her fingers in the curls at the nape of Bette’s slender neck with the other. As she held the mocha beauty Tina’s senses tuned into the moistness on her shirt from Bette’s tears; her warm breath, and the sound of her soft sniffles.

    Bette closed her eyes and savored the comfort of Tina’s arms as their bodies naturally melded together. As she breathed in the intoxicatingly familiar scent of the only woman that she’d ever truly loved, the deep feelings of regret and emptiness surfaced again. Bette held tight to the blonde, silently willing their bodies, hearts and souls to seek out its mate; to reconnect; to speak in the language of love that always communicated whatever they were too afraid to express in words but she no longer had the right to want those things. She’d thrown away the privilege of being lovers, but was grateful to have found her best friend again.

    True they were best friends, but they were supposed to also be life partners; they were supposed to raise a family together; they were supposed to be each other’s first, last and always. Their promise of forever was sealed with a kiss at a commitment ceremony seven years ago but Bette had destroyed everything for a meaningless tryst.

    Her mind wandered to three years earlier when in a brief moment of insanity Bette Porter had gotten into another woman’s car and whispered “take me somewhere.” It was a ride that she would live to regret for the rest of her life. Not only had it been the start of an extramarital affair that ended their marriage, but her betrayal broke everything that meant anything in their love. The infidelity made even more devastating to their lives when Bette learned of Tina’s undisclosed pregnancy.

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