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    Chocolate Pudding – (Chapter: Chapter 2)

    So with the help of Dr. Wylis, I identified the root of my obsession and developed a solution to get rid of it.

    Before I could change my mind, I booked a flight to Chicago for the following month.  Luckily I had banked some vacation days, so I was able to take off the entire week.  Depending on how the conversation with Kerry goes, I’ll spend the whole week with her or with Christy and old friends.

    I was also in the process of weaning myself off the chocolate heavenly delight.  I threw out all of the pudding cups in the fridge and bought the sugar-free, fat-free stuff.  Hey, if I still had to have it, at least it won’t have all the extra calories.  My goal was to limit myself to two servings a day.  If that worked, after awhile, I’ll ratchet it down to one.  It seemed that just having a plan to conquer my obsession was helping me curb it.  The exercising helped too, almost like a substitute.  Instead of lifting a spoon, I would lift weights.  I was hoping to drop a few pounds before I went to Chicago.

    When I finally made it to Chicago, I was a ball of nerves.  What if this doesn’t work?  What if she doesn’t like me anymore?  What if she thinks I’m fat?  What if she’s with someone?  Arrgghhh!  I can’t take this, I’m calling Dr. Wylis.

    "Dr. Wylis?  I just can’t do this.  I look totally different now, what if she hates me?" 

    "Kim what’s the worst that can happen?"  Jenn always the voice of reasoning.

    "She’ll reject me."

    "True, but then at least you’ll know and you’ll be able to put this cockimamey obsession behind you.  But if she feels for you a fraction of what you feel for her, then she won’t.  Ok?  So go get her!"

    "Ok, thanks again Jenn."

    Well, here goes nothing.  I venture into the ER; hopefully she’s working today.  I decided to leave my sunglasses on; I really wasn’t ready to be noticed by any familiar faces yet.  But of course who’s at the desk other than Abby Lockhart, damn!  Maybe she won’t recognize me.

    “Uhh, is Dr. Weaver on today?”  Good, she’s not even looking at me, working on a chart, maybe she won’t recognize me.  I try my hardest not make eye contact with her.

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