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    Second and Third Chances – CH 14

    Bette lay in bed staring at the ceiling. It was Sunday afternoon and Tina still hadnt called her. After the events of that went down at the CAC party Bette didnt know what was going on between her and Tina. She didnt want to push the issue but she also very much wished she knew what was going through Tinas head. Bette rolled over and looked at the clock. Six thirty. Damn. I dont think shes going to call. Bette rolled back over and stared at the ceiling again trying to analyze what happened.

    We were doing so well. We were friends again and I thought she was happy about the way things were going. Then what the ***** happened on Friday night? I know she felt it too, but where is this coming from? After all this time does she really still have those types of feelings for me? No, she was so adamant about having to start her life over and made it clear that she intended to do that alone. But then why was she so nervous on Friday? Did I do something to give her the wrong impression? And what about Melanie? Tina seemed so happy, even Alice pointed out that Tina was finally happy again. What am I going to do?

    RING RING RING

    Bette quickly jumped up and grabbed the phone off the nightstand. She waited for a moment and took a deep breath to compose herself.

    Hello?

    Bette? Its Candace.

    Bette felt her whole body tense up and she got an all to familiar look of worry on her face. *****, thought Bette as she tried to hide the disappointment in her voice.

    Hey Candace.

    Hey, I was just calling to see if you maybe wanted to have dinner tonight?

    Bette bit her bottom lip as she tried to figure out a way to turn Candace down nicely. Ever since Bette started spending so much time with Tina she had kind of been pushing Candace slowly out of her life. The spark that they once shared had been extinguished forever and Bette now only saw Candace through friendly eyes. Bette felt bad about everything she put Candace through and she knew she deserved more than what Bette was giving her but it was just something Bette could never bring herself to offer.

    Im sorry Candace I cant. I kind of have plans tonight.

    With Tina.

    Bette heard the coldness in Candaces voice and she sighed to herself. She had told Candace about her weekly dinners with Tina, and how happy she was that Tina was back in her life. Bette never thought Candace would get jealous over it however, and the more time that Bette spent with Tina the more she realize she didnt want to spend time with Candace.

    Yeah Candace, weekly dinners remember?

    Okay. Well if you want to have dinner sometime this week give me a call.

    Bette hung up and looked at the phone sadly. She wished that Tina would call her, even if it was just to cancel dinner. Bette wanted to speak to Tina and hear her voice, but she knew she wasnt in the position to do that. Bette laid back down on the bed and continued to stare at the ceiling again. She didnt know what the future held for her and Tina but she wanted to find out. Sometime later Bette had fallen asleep and when she opened her eyes she saw it was nearly five in the morning.

    ***** she didnt call me. I wonder what is going on.

    Bette rolled out of bed and walked into the kitchen. She was starving and had a major headache so she dug around in the fridge and found some leftover pasta that Kit had brought over a couple of days ago. I dont know what I would have done without her, Bette thought to herself as she heated up the food. She ate quickly then took some aspirin and went back to bed. She spent the next two hours thinking about Tina and everything that had happened over the course of their relationship. From the day they met till the day she pushed Tina out of her life forever. Bette still didnt know what was going on and she was getting frustrated with trying to figure everything out on her own. Bette angrily got out of bed again and jumped into the shower. She got dressed quickly for work and left the house at half past seven. She felt strange to not have control over a situation and she was even more surprised that she didnt let it get the best of her. In the past Bette would have been at Tinas door demanding to talk to her and straighten things out. But not this time. This time Bette was waiting patiently for Tina to talk to her and she was giving Tina the necessary time and space to get her head clear. Bette knew what it was like to try and make a decision about love when you have two people pulling you in opposite directions and she knew she could never put Tina in that spot. Bette reached the CAC and walked into the building in a cloud of fog. She didnt know what was going to happen but she wished that whatever it was, it would happen soon.

    ***
    Tina was sitting in the office at her house and she was just staring at the computer screen. It was Thursday night and Tina was still confused about what happened with Bette the last time she saw her. She felt slightly guilty for not calling Bette on Sunday for their usual dinner but she just couldnt see her yet. Tina didnt know if she was truly having feelings for Bette again, or if it was just something about that night that made her feel that way. Tina looked at the stacks of scripts in front of her but she just couldnt focus on them right now.

    I think it was just something about being back at the CAC with Bette and reliving the moment of when I first met her. Yeah thats it. That has to be it. I dont really have feelings for her again do I? I cant. After all this time why are they reemerging now? Things are going so well with Melanie and with work and everything my life is almost perfect right now. Who am I kidding? I felt it. I felt something and I know Bette did too. *****! ***** ***** *****.

    Tina glanced at her watch and saw that it was almost eight thirty. She wondered if Melanie was home yet and decided she would try her on her cell. It was finals week for Melanie and between grading papers and exams and the extended office hours she gave her students Melanie had almost no free time. The few times Tina did manage to talk to her or see her Melanie was so exhausted that it was always cut short. Just like Bette, thought Tina and just like she used to do for Bette, Tina would always give Melanie a concerned look or say something supportive. But Melanie was far from anything Bette used to be like. Melanie was never harsh with Tina or short tempered with her. Instead Melanie was always the same Melanie and Tina reveled in the fact that even when she was under a ton of pressure Melanie still managed to make her feel like the most important thing in her life. Tina dialed Melanies cell phone hoping she wasnt interrupting anything important.

    Hello?

    Hey babe, hows it going?

    Its going. Im really tired and I just want to go home and crawl in bed.

    Aww poor baby, when you get done why dont you come over and Ill take care of you?

    Tina heard Melanie laugh and she felt a warm feeling spread throughout her body. Tina loved the fact that Melanie didnt feel the need to always be strong or guarded around her and would let Tina take care of her. Something Bette always had such a hard time doing, thought Tina as she waited for Melanies response.

    Sounds wonderful baby but I cant. I have to meet with some of my TAs to go over the final and at this rate we might be here all night.

    Okay, well dont work too hard and just think it will all be over in a few days.

    Yeah and I am spending this weekend in bed recuperating.

    I was thinking the same thing.

    Melanie laughed again and this time it was a more seductive laugh. Tina knew that she turned Melanie on more than anything and Tina made a mental note to make sure she pampered Melanie this weekend. They hung up shortly after that and when they did Tina had a small smile on her face. Melanie always seemed to make Tina feel better and she missed feeling this way. She missed the simplicity of a new relationship and how wonderful everything seemed. Tina walked downstairs and flipped on the TV while settling down on the couch. She stared blankly at whatever was on while her thoughts were still racing a mile a minute.

    I wonder what Bette is thinking about all this. I thought she understood that we were just friends and that I had moved on. I know she did so why was she so weirded out last Friday? Was I overreacting? Was I just imagining it or did she sense it too? Just then Tina realized that nearly a week had gone by and Bette hadnt tried to call her yet. Tina half expected Bette to start harassing her and demanding that they talk this through. Well at least thats what Bette WOULD have done. I wonder if it even bothers her now?

    Without hesitation Tina reached over for her phone and called Bette at home. She waited nervously for Bette to pick up the phone but was surprised when she got the answering machine.

    Hi this is Bette. Im not in right now so please leave a message after the beep. Thanks.

    Her voice sounds so good, thought Tina as she started to leave a message then thought better of it. She didnt want it to seem like she was unsure about what she wanted because she didnt want to give Bette the wrong idea. Tina hung up the phone and tried to turn her attention back to the television. One thought kept creeping up in her head and it was killing Tina.

    I wonder where she is at nine oclock on a Thursday night. Ill bet shes out with Candace. No theyre over and done with. I wonder if she met someone else? Tina felt the jealously rage through her system and she mentally slapped herself for being jealous of whoever Bette was spending time with. Its none of my business who Bette chooses to spend time with now. Im happy and she should be too. Tina tried to comfort herself but the nagging feeling didnt disappear and finally Tina got up and went to bed so that she could escape the many scenarios that were running through her head about some fictitious woman that Bette was now pursuing. Tina didnt know why it was making her so angry to think that Bette had moved on, after all she moved on months ago, but in her heart Tina knew why. Bette had once said that she would always be hers and Tina held on to that with every ounce of faith she had. Tina had gotten a second chance to start over with Melanie but maybe it wasnt how it was supposed to be. Maybe she should give Bette another chance. After all, if they could get back to square one and start over again maybe this time around they would reach the happily ever after. Maybe second and third chances are not always the best things in life. Maybe at times like this the best thing to do is just start back at one.

    Comments

    1. Thanks for the small details of their thoughts as they reconsider each other. I really like Melanie too. Maybe she will fall for one of her students and leave Tina free to go back to Bette.

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