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    Torn

    Sam hadn’t spoken to me about that night, I think we were both avoiding the dreaded conversation. It was as if it simply hadn’t happened. But at that point when she did walk in nothing had happened.

    In bed that night we couldn’t have been further apart. If I told Sam what happened I wanted to be sure it I could promise that it wouldn’t happen again. Especially if like my heart told me I still wanted to be with her.

    ‘Meet me today. 1pm at the cafe. Cat’

    I awaited a reply of some sort from Frankie but nothing. I just hoped she had received the message. This needed to be sorted once and for all.

    The day seemed to drift by so slowly at a snail like pace. I tried to busy myself in tasks at work but nothing could rid the anxious feelings I was having in the pit of my stomach. Jay was being his usual charismatic self, basically playing hookie and looking like death warmed up. These heavy nights of drinking were taking it’s toll. But according to Jay some of these nights where he got completely hammered Frankie hadn’t been his drinking buddy. I did find this hard to believe because whenever Frankie couldn’t deal with a situation she turned to booze and an assortment of women.

    Was that where she had been with other women? What did it matter, how could I be one to judge she wasn’t in a committed relationship with anyone. When these thoughts came to my mind about Frankie with other women, kissing them and touching them I felt physically sick with jealousy. She could always say one thing and do another without thinking of the repercussions or just simply how it would make me feel.

    I arrived early taking a quick glance from outside to see if she was there, it wasn’t a surprise she wasn’t here yet. I asked a passer-by for a cigarette. I needed something to fill my lungs and stop this pounding of the blood through my veins; making me sit on the edge.

    As I inhaled the smoke I was quickly reminded why I had given up, because this could easily spiral into that addiction. Either way it was taking my mind of things distracting me from the issue that was tearing me apart. The quickness of my intake was fading as I was nearing the nub of the cigarette.

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