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    Torn

    I tried hard to steady my breathing and attune the rhythm of my heart. It was as if euphoria had taken over my body; dangling me towards the edge of oblivion. Slowly, waiting for me to jump or be pushed. The torture of how one person’s love can change you forever without truly knowing why or how.

    As my eyes fluttered trying to focus solely on a point in the room, I embraced the sweetness of her sentiment slowly pulling me towards her. Minute whispers that were savoured only for me; an unknown stirring of her waking me up to my reality.

    Yes reality.

    There was a blurry line between my reality and fantasy, both women were in both worlds. Subconsciously I craved them to be; but I realised is that all it was ever going to be me and these fictional thoughts?

    “If I could relive this moment forever I would make everyday this special. I love you.”

    Her words caught in her throat as if she had been chewing on barbed wire. I was able to hear through those words maybe she was too good for me. Maybe, just maybe there was a reason Frankie came back into my life. But surely Sam couldn’t make me feel this wanted and not truly want me.

    Her words were spoken so freely and honest, no room to miss interpret. The smoothness of her voice when she spoke into the darkness of the room, draping her arms over me.

    She knew all the things I revelled in; the small kisses on the back of my neck as she trailed down to the bottom of my veterbrae. The way her fingertips never left anywhere untouched; she knew me, she loved me and I loved her.

    But truly what did I have to offer Sam, a lifetime of regret and inadequacy? She deserved to be treated like the Goddess she was; beautiful on the outside as well as in.

    **************
    “Love is like an aeroplane Cat, sometimes you’ve just got to let it take flight” I smiled as I lay my head in the crook of her neck. Her words always so cryptic; but even this was obvious to me. I knew I loved this women whose fingers captured my thighs in the dominant way she liked to hold me, I loved all that she was. And tonight I was going to let Sam’s voice escape my thoughts and let Frankie’s fingers do all the talking.

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