Lena sat at the kitchen table and looked at her wife. She decided that it was time to say what she needed to say. That thought that  had been rattling around in her head for so long. since the comments had started. The same comments that Stef had said when they were getting ready for the wedding. she took a deep breath.

“Stef, if you don’t want me to have a baby you need to say now.” Stef looked at her wife as the words came out shocked. She really didn’t know how to react.

“I want a baby, I’m not sure about Timothy…” She stopped. Took a deep breath. “I want my wife back.”

“What do you mean?” Lena asked looking at her wife as Stef held onto the kitchen table. Stef looked down before looking back up. she was shaking.

“I want to cuddle up to you, I want to have a conversation that doesn’t included our kids or you have a baby.” Stef admitted. “I want us to have a baby, I’m scared. Okay. I feel like this is pulling us away from each other. The other night in bed you weren’t listening to me. you just dismissed me.”  suddenly all the truths were coming out.

“I didn’t know. Why haven’t you been talking to me.”

“Because you wouldn’t have listened. I know you love. You’ve got these thoughts into your head. I wanted an anonymous donor, you wanted Timothy. Every time I said something you bought Timothy back into the conversation. I didn’t even care what kind of donor we got.”

“I’m sorry.” Lena said, looking at her wife and finally seeing the pain in her eyes.

“You don’t want to listen to me but you don’t want to talk to me either.”  Stef said, “Recently nearly everything I have said has been dismissed. I didn’t know if you were going to listen to me. the other night for example, when we were in bed and I just wanted you to lay with me. cuddle with me. you shot me down.” She stopped she had too. Lena got up and took her wife in her arms.

“I’m so sorry babe.” She held onto Stef.

“I just want my wife back, the loving, kind person who I feel madly in love with. Who I love so much. I don’t want to lose you.” Stef said softly.

“I’m right here. I love you so much babe.” Lena kissed her. “We used to be so good at talking to each other.”

“Yeh before hell broke lose.”

“I wouldn’t call our kids Hell.”

“No, but we need to make more time for us.”

“I agree.”

“I love you Lena. you’re my world.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“You can stop staying that now.” Stef said. Before running her hand along Lena’s shoulder as the kids all came through the front door.  Stef let go of her wife, knowing that this conversation was not over.