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    Between shadow and soul

    Te amo como se aman ciertas cosas oscuras, secretamente, entre la sombra y el alma” – Pablo Neruda


    She couldn’t help but stare at her. It had been two years since their divorce, yet she knew with absolute certainty that it would take a lifetime to forget her. It left a bittersweet taste in her mouth to see Tina so… happy. Positively glowing with happiness as she held Carrie’s hand. It was as if there were two parts inside her fighting for control, each yanking opposing ends, threatening to tear apart the fragile sutures that held her bruised heart together. One part of her, the one she wanted to believe was winning, was happy for Tina, despite her abysmal pain. That side wished for her ex-wife’s happiness above all else because she still saw the traces of the person who used to be her partner and best friend. The other part, the darker and more selfish one, clawed at her insides, full of betrayal and anger. That part wished with all her might that Carrie would simply disappear from their lives, not being above hoping for something terrible, so she would never have to lay eyes on the lawyer again. That same part of her seemed to sink deeper into the abyss every day. 

    Sometimes, when her emotions betrayed her, she felt like a sort of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: divided. She felt her conscience was a battlefield where two natures could not make peace with each other. The reality is that there were parts of her that she had never managed to understand, and history showed that Tina didn’t either. She was beginning to believe that she could never reconcile the existence of two factions in the same body. Two passions so radically different. Two temperaments so essentially opposed. After all, Tina seemed to regard her as one would a forest fire: chaotic, unpredictable. She loved the fiery passion of her soul, knowing that she would fight to the very death if asked, but at the same time, she was wary of the flames: after all, once burned…

    Perhaps she believed that her love would be able to separate the parts to save Bette from the “darker” version of herself. Not understanding that killing one side would mean the suicide of the other. 

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    1. Interesting start… I must say, you are expressing the emotions of Bette Porter that I have felt from the moment Tina announced that she was marrying Carrie. And I also believe that Angie would not have been pleased with the announcement either… So let’s see if Bette can really move on from Tina.

      Thanks a for writing this…. welcome aboard… Great beginning… look forward to more…

      • Thank you so so much! I’m super glad you found it interesting.
        I agree! even though this chapter doesn’t delve into Angie’s feelings, the next one will.
        I truly think Tina and Bette have never been able to really move on from each other. I see in my own family how divorce is sometimes a decision made out of feelings that have little to do with your partner and everything to do with yourself. So I think I’m trying to explore their reunion with that in mind.

    2. Hello Sof, your Author Notes: “Hello! For me, Tibette is such an incredible couple, but I kind of hate some of the decisions made in the show, so I’m here, trying to process some of those feelings” express exactly my thoughts and I love that it motivated you to write this story. Great start. I’m looking forward to the direction you take it. Welcome.

    3. Welcome to the site!

      I am very curious how this story will develop! I really could feel Bette’s pain. Great writing!

      As a really Tibette fan i can handle the drama as long there will be a happy ending, if not i can’t read it. Please tell me you plan a happy ending for Tibette

      • Hello and thank you very very much! I’m super glad you are curious about how the story will develop, and I hope you like the next chapter.

        I am, above anything a Tibette fan, and while it might be a bit of a slowburn, it will 100% end with a happy ending for Tibette! I would break my own heart otherwise

    4. Sof,
      I felt similar emotions coming from Bette when Tina made her announcement. The several layers of pain crossed her face so quickly.
      I look forward to your story and impressions of this couple. Thank you!

      • Hey bumsue!
        Thanks you so much! yeah, it was such a heartbreaking moment when Tina made her announcement and everything from that moment on (season 3 finale notwithstanding) was so painful.
        I hope you enjoy the next chapters and thanks for commenting!

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