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    Between shadow and soul

    Bette’s jaw clenched as she noticed the inspection, but kept smiling. She let go of Carrie’s hand before slowly turning around to look at her ex-wife, who seemed to be processing a myriad of emotions at once. 

    “Tina…” Her name left her lips with a softness she simply couldn’t hide. Her heart was still black and blue from the loss of her. It hurt to say her name.

    Taking one step closer, she enveloped the blonde in a shy embrace. She felt Tina tense up for a second before relaxing into her arms. In a moment of weakness, she allowed herself to breathe in deeply the scent of the woman who would undoubtedly always be both the love of her life and her greatest heartbreak. This had to be the last time she allowed herself to indulge in such sentimentality. It had to be.

    “I wish you all the happiness this world has to give.” Her voice came out as a broken whisper. Tina’s arms, which had hesitantly returned her embrace, tensed up again as she listened, “I hope you are happy. Happier”. Than with me,” she added bitterly in her mind.

    She kissed her shyly on the cheek before pulling away. Luckily, her back was turned to Carrie, so her brief moment of weakness could pass as a simple hug. Could pass as everything but the very moment in which she said goodbye to her heart forever. 

    She quickly turned away, not noticing the expression on Tina’s face, her teary eyes, or her clenched hands.

    “If you’ll excuse me for a few moments, I have to make some calls.” Bette turned to look at her daughter, “Angie, why don’t you show Mama T and Carrie the delivery menus? When I get back, we can all have dinner together”. 

    She would have laughed at their expressions if it wasn’t for the almost suffocating pain she felt in her chest. The surprise and shock on their faces only reinforced the idea that she had to try harder to let go, to move on. She hated to think she had become someone who seemed unhappy for the people she loved. It was time to face some of her demons, and that involved moving on, knowing that Tina would no longer be the person holding her hand, and allowing herself, for the first time, to accept Kit’s death and properly mourn her loss. 

    At the thought of her sister, she felt a lump in her throat. The pressure in her chest increased to an agonizing level, and with a last, barely believable smile, she left the kitchen. 

    She quickly climbed the stairs to her bedroom, and as soon as the door closed, she collapsed on the floor. God, it was the most unpleasant feeling she had ever felt. On the one hand, she felt proud for being able to take a step in the right direction. On the other hand, she felt as if her body was physically rejecting her decision. Every molecule in her body felt like it was on fire, burning in protest, begging her to somehow repair the throbbing wound bleeding her heart dry.

    With trembling hands, she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and opened her messages. It was time to start making changes. 

    TBC 

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    Comments

    1. Interesting start… I must say, you are expressing the emotions of Bette Porter that I have felt from the moment Tina announced that she was marrying Carrie. And I also believe that Angie would not have been pleased with the announcement either… So let’s see if Bette can really move on from Tina.

      Thanks a for writing this…. welcome aboard… Great beginning… look forward to more…

      • Thank you so so much! I’m super glad you found it interesting.
        I agree! even though this chapter doesn’t delve into Angie’s feelings, the next one will.
        I truly think Tina and Bette have never been able to really move on from each other. I see in my own family how divorce is sometimes a decision made out of feelings that have little to do with your partner and everything to do with yourself. So I think I’m trying to explore their reunion with that in mind.

    2. Hello Sof, your Author Notes: “Hello! For me, Tibette is such an incredible couple, but I kind of hate some of the decisions made in the show, so I’m here, trying to process some of those feelings” express exactly my thoughts and I love that it motivated you to write this story. Great start. I’m looking forward to the direction you take it. Welcome.

    3. Welcome to the site!

      I am very curious how this story will develop! I really could feel Bette’s pain. Great writing!

      As a really Tibette fan i can handle the drama as long there will be a happy ending, if not i can’t read it. Please tell me you plan a happy ending for Tibette

      • Hello and thank you very very much! I’m super glad you are curious about how the story will develop, and I hope you like the next chapter.

        I am, above anything a Tibette fan, and while it might be a bit of a slowburn, it will 100% end with a happy ending for Tibette! I would break my own heart otherwise

    4. Sof,
      I felt similar emotions coming from Bette when Tina made her announcement. The several layers of pain crossed her face so quickly.
      I look forward to your story and impressions of this couple. Thank you!

      • Hey bumsue!
        Thanks you so much! yeah, it was such a heartbreaking moment when Tina made her announcement and everything from that moment on (season 3 finale notwithstanding) was so painful.
        I hope you enjoy the next chapters and thanks for commenting!

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