Fan Fiction
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Bitter Reckoning, Chapters 5
“You need to let her finish,” Katie said. She’d returned with another bundle of supplies. “We don’t want to go in there until it’s been properly cleansed.”
“I don’t understand,” Tina said.
Katie rearranged some of the items on the ground. “I’m not sure I know how to explain it, but for us, the place where someone dies can hold a sickness. We call it the ghost sickness.” She glanced around her as if she was worried someone might hear her telling Tina these things. “Anyway, those girls…Bette’s and Kit’s mom…they died violently and had no time to really work out their—” She stiffened as Kit came out the doorway.
“You can go in now,” Kit said. She glanced briefly at Tina and walked away.
“What didn’t they have time to work out?” Tina asked.
Katie diverted her eyes. “The balance, the harmony.” She shrugged. “It’s hard to explain, part of our culture, and anyway, we need to get these things set up.” She pointed to the stack of cots. “We can put those together, but first let’s clear the floor and put down a tarp. Last summer Martin got stung by a scorpion, and we found a nest under one of the tiles.”
Tina gulped. “Scorpions?”
“Don’t worry. They hibernate in the winter, but we should check the area just in case.”
Tina picked up the folded tarp and followed Katie through the doorway. Inside she had to let her eyes adjust to the dimness. But her nose immediately picked up on a mildew smell and a hint of skunk. They walked first through what was probably once the entry way to the school’s individual offices. The interior walls still stood upright, but the doors were all ajar and off their hinges. The only light came from glassless windows that faced the west. These windows, Tina noted, didn’t have iron bars. She also noticed that office furniture cluttered each cubical area, all metal desks and wooden chairs. The desks were a military green-gray. Two were turned on their side, and one’s legs had rusted, causing it to lean at an angle. All the chairs were upended and their wooded ribs broken. Heavy dust covered everything, and fine silty dirt frosted the Saltillo tile floor.
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BenMac says
As the witches say in Macbeth: “Something wicked this way comes!”
Based on the comments from the last chapter, it looks like you all have figured it out. I guess I didn’t do a good enough job to conceal it, did I? But at least you’re still wondering why, right? There’s still that mystery. So I hope you’ll stick with the story. I think there may be a twist or two you haven’t anticipated.
See you next week! Thanks for all the great comments. And think of me tonight when you have to get out of bed and use the potty in the dark! Hehe!
Zhenya says
Thanks for another chapter, BenMac! Your writer skills is awesome and the story exciting, like always.
Some thoughts about this part:
1) Harlan seems have problem not ony with white women, who reject him, but with white men too.
2) Tina – you need to stop pee in the night. Every time you get in trouble:)
3) Kit?
All is not simple.
BenMac says
Yeah, what is up with Kit? What does she know about Harlan that has caused her to be angry with him?
Zhenya says
I guess we find out in next chapters, right?
proteonomics says
Hi BM
That was wonderful, freaking, amazing and brilliant.
Harlan apparently has a big grudge and resentment against people from wealthy or famous families or those who don’t think or do as he wants or believes (particularly bilagáanas), probably he feels discriminated or belittled, which for me is understandable due to his history, but doesn’t justify his behavior.
What Harlan doesn’t understand is that with his lies and ‘games’, he’s been hurting Bette, who respect all the Navajo culture, her culture, but doesn’t believe some of their myths.
I agree with Tina, some men don’t understand the rejection of a lesbian (don’t even understand what a lesbian is), I don’t like Harlan because of that.
I like how Kit looks a little more understanding with Tina; I hope she will see that Tina is not a bad person.
Tina shouldn’t have drunk the second beer because of the contained alcohol that has diuretic effects, and she knew she would have to pee.
Was that a skinwalker disguised as Bette in the bathroom? that was really scary
I feel really sorry for Bette, she blames herself for Alice death, and all that is happening to Tina is reminding her of Alice suffering.
The place is really scary and probably full of unknown entities; BTW I will need a bedpan in my bedroom this evening.
Thanks for the great chapter, I like this is longer than the former ones, and again I’ll impatiently wait for the next chapter, weeks should be shorter.
P
Bibi28 says
What a fantastic update!
To tell you the truth, i am not scared at all and that surprised me. Me and horror or ghosts or something similare are not a good mix.
Poor Tina, seems she has the same scary experiences as Alice.
I would love to read about Harlan and why he has this attitude to white people and what his game is. He is not thruthworthy and Bette needs to be careful with him.
I am looking forward to the next chapter.
SassyGran says
Great update BenMac!
Shocking weather here in the UK and I am having trouble keeping warm, your story does not help!
Looking forward to next Chapter.
Notice no mention of the inevitable Cliffhanger! I give up on you but will never stop reading!
SG
BenMac says
For you….always…and I mean ALWAYS those cliffhangers! haha! I know, I’m a stinker! But I love ya, Sassy!
SassyGran says
Love you back Ben when’s the next post?
BenMac says
Just got her up!
SassyGran says
What is it with your posts and the weather here in UK! Had about 3 inches of snow and temp about -5 in these Derbyshire Pennines. I have therefore been chilled by both your superb writing and the b….y weather. Additionally you do realise that it is always very late at night here when your posts come up!
BenMac despite all this I look forward to your posts and your cliffhangers – love being scared by your talented writing and storytelling.
Look forward to next weekends post.
meloveslu says
So Harlan’s a racist who is offering up his former white “friends” as a sacrifice? Is it all an illusion or is this evil spirit a shapeshifter? Perhaps it’s a misunderstood spirit who believes that Alice and Tina intended to take Better away from her family and culture again, so it wants to chase them away.
I laughed when I read the part about Harlan and Doyle having worked together in my hometown. :-) Now I’m wondering which local news station lol.
Sunday is too far away for the next post. A Wednesday post seems much more reasonable for all of us anxious readers!
xoxoxo
BenMac says
Bakersfield? Really?
So, yep, Harlan holds a lot of bitterness in his heart. Not that we can blame him in many respects.
strelets3 says
Thanks for this wondeful story! I should admit that after you promised some romantic development between Bette and Tina I kind of expected them to share the cot :) Oh, and the part about phisical balance was brilliant! Sure we all have some notion what kind of moves Tina does have after all.
CestMoi says
There’s a reason why you’re one of the most (if not the most) favorable writer on this site BenMac. You have a wonderful way of writing that really captures the real tibette essence although all your Bette and Tinas are different. Then you mix it with really good story telling. This story is no exception!
SPOILER;
Holy shite, that Bette part was so freaking scary, didn’t see it coming! Not even with the uncharacteristic line pulled on Tina with the flashlight thing. I’m thinking this is Harlan and he may be some sort of a shape shifter or wendigo kind of creature. Maybe someone else is in on it aswell.
Shitty thing to do though to Bette and the others.
I’m thinking this Chindi spirit that’s possessing Harlan won’t be able to afflict Tina because perhaps unlike Alice, she in fact does have a good and pure heart and respect for the Navajo way as is evident already.
Bring on the scares! I’m not even caring if Bette and Tina end up together, that’s how good this story is!
Peace
Zhenya says
No, no – we need happy end for B&T too. You already killed Bette twice in your stories – please don’t do it again.
strelets3 says
I’ve read all the stories by BenMac, but can’t remeber her killing Bette. Could you give a link to that story ?
Zhenya says
“The Cigarette Case” and “The Smell of Rain”
strelets3 says
The Smell! Sure… I’ve read it 4 times but somehow haven’t accepted Bette’s death. That’s must be the only reason I asked that stupid question. Thank you!
BenMac says
Bette did die in the first version of The Groves (now By the Dark of Her Eyes in print), but she was brought back to life by Miguel, the ghosty dog. She also died of old age in Eternal Rocks and in The Smell of Rain. I guess Zhenya is right about “The Cigarette Case.” The implication is she dies in her country during the civil war.
Hey, but no promises on this one! It is a horror story and people must die, yes? Okay, okay….no TiBette death, but pretty darn close!
dzungvo says
Please Please let B &T end up together. & Zhenya is correct You killed Bette twice. Anyway I always following your stories. I got the email from site to let me know your new story coming. I love your writing.
BenMac says
Yeah! Thank you! I’m glad you have that notification on…it will make me work hard to get a chapter a week up if possible!
Dainty says
I love your writing and your dedication to get facts correct in your stories, even though the stories scare the water out of me. The only ones that didn’t scare me were, “…Rain;…Rocks; and the Human +++ Story.” They all made me cry buckets but, not scared me. You are a terrific writer. Thanks for posting.
Oops, not finished.” Never heard of shapeshifting, and skinwalkers, etc. Weird.