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The sun begins to peek through the mini blinds above my bed and I sigh as I have been wide awake all night thinking about my sister showing up unannounced and certainly uninvited last night. 20 years I haven’t heard a word from her..All the letters I wrote her years after she left went answered..I gave up and now she has the nerve to show up wanting to talk to me. “Fuck her.. I have nothing to say” I mumble throwing the covers off of me as I get out of bed and make my way to the shower. I glance in the mirror to see the bags that have set in under my eyes from no sleep..”Jesus I look like hell”
I think back to the last time I saw my sister as I step in the shower. I let the hot water soothe my tired aching body as I remember that day.
“Don’t leave Kate. I don’t want you to go. Please don’t go” I plead through tears as I hug tightly to my sister.
“I don’t want to leave but I have to. I promise to keep in touch and I will be back ok” her voice cracking and getting choked up.
I release my grip looking up at her crying just as hard as I am.
“Elizabeth I love you. Remember that and I wouldn’t leave if I didn’t have to”
“I don’t understand. Why do you have to leave.”
“I have to go…Here..Take this.. It has my address.. Write me ok…I love you..”
She pulls away from me heading toward the car waiting for her. I watch her drive off and I’m left standing there, my arms outstretched begging and calling out to the car as it went down the road for her not to go.
I shake my head remembering that day as I continue to wash my hair. That’s the last time I saw her. Mom and Dad would not speak of it and I quit asking as they both would change the subject when asked. I would hear my Mom crying sometimes in their bedroom but she never mentioned my sisters name.. My Dad being a pastor would ask me to just pray for her. I didn’t know why and after my letters went unanswered I felt abandoned. By the time I graduated high school I hated her. Dad passed away when I was a sophomore in college. Mom didn’t know how to reach her to even tell her of his passing. She shut me and everyone out after that and passed a year later.. I did my best to take care of her. How dare Kate show up now wanting to talk. She doesn’t deserve a second of my time and I won’t give her one. The anger begins to build in me as I get out of the shower, dry off, and head back to my bedroom to get dressed.