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Tina walked out to her studio, she left Bette on the phone to Peggy and Xavier was down for the night, she opened the doors and walked in looking at the large blank canvas on the back wall. It had been there since before her mental break. She walked over and ran her hand along it. Feeling the texture of the canvas under her skin. Her finger trips running along it. She had a bubbling rage. she looked over at her collection of paints, she rolled up the sleeves of the shirt she was wearing.
She walked around for a few moments, her mind was racing. she’d not enjoyed being looked at, being talked about. She knew she had issues. She’d always kept herself to herself. Meeting Bette had changed her life in so many brilliant and delightful ways but at the same time it had lead her to be the centre of gossip in the lesbian community that surrounded The Planet and she hated that. It wasn’t something she had ever wanted. She had always lived a quiet life since her parents had died.
Tina took some lids of her paint and picked up one of her larger paint brushes. She hadn’t painted since before her break. She’d only been drawing. She’d not felt like expressing herself in this way.
Tina dipped the paint brush into some dark blue paint and then waved her arm, throwing the paint onto the canvas, were it landed she walked forward and ran he fingers through the paint, within minutes she was lost in painting. Mixing the dark colours. It was dark with her anger but she was finding it a great way to relax. Her fingers moving through the paint. Making her feel at one with the painting. She felt like Tina Kennard the artist again.
“Baby,” Bette said walking in a soft smile on face.
Tina turned and looked at her wife,
“Hey, sorry,” Tina whispered
“Why are you sorry?”
“You’re painting that’s amazing.” Bette smiled
“Tina I’m always okay with you painting, it’s a very dark piece,” Bette looked at her wife’s hands covered in paint, the picture was stunning with the mixture of the paints.
“It’s my anger.” Tina admitted. “My anger at my body for making our son come early, my anger that my mental health failed me, that I’ve let you down, that I’m the gossip of LA because of one of our friends, my anger over my own flaws.”