Fan Fiction

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    Friday

    Tina rested her head back against the car seat, her eyes closed. Her fists clenched. Her mind was racing. She had decided to try and think about her breathing, she was taking slow deep breaths to try and level everything out. This was a big weekend for her. A massive step forward. A couple of days away from hospital which had recently become her safe space. She knew she had to take these steps forward if she wanted to come home full time. If she wanted to start living her life again.

    Bette looked over at her wife as she turned onto the road that led to their house. She knew that Tina was finding this difficult. She hadn’t been home since she had walked out of the house six weeks ago. Bette turned the car onto their long drive, and she watched as Tina slowly unclenched her fists like she knew where she was. Her eyes were still tightly closed. Bette pulled up in front the house and switched of the engine.

    Bette gently reached over and took her wife’s hands into hers. Very slowly Tina opened her eyes and turned to her head to look at Bette, Bette smiled gently.

                    “Welcome home Ti,” Bette said softly.

    Tina smiled softly.

                    “Thanks,” Tina looked around at the house. A home she loved; she could see that it hadn’t changed. This was still the house that her and Bette had built together.

                    “You okay?” Bette asked, not wanting to push her.

                    “I think so, erm.” Tina looked down at her hands, at her wedding ring.  “Is Xavier okay?”

                    “Yes, he is inside with his nurse, It’s Sarah-Jayne today.”

                    “I feel like I’m a little useless,”

                    “You’re not. This is about a slow and steady recovery to ensure that you can come home full time.” Bette smiled softly at her wife. Reaching over she gently moved a stray piece of hair out of her face. Tucking it behind her ear.

                    “It does feel nice to be home,”

                    “Do you want to go in?” Bette asked smiling gently.

                    “Yeah,”

    Tina slowly opened the door and got out of the car, forgetting about her bag in the bag. She walked towards the front door. She turned taking in the clear air. She took a deep breath. It was freeing to be back on her ranch. She watched as Bette brought her bag

    Page 1 of 3123

    Comments

    1. Kind of a difficult chapter for me. This weekend should be a happy occasion. As much as I want Tina home and heathy and whole – she has some serious issues. Not being able to make eye contact with the nurse is a huge problem. Anti social is one thing but Bette needs to stop saying I know and it’s okay to Tina and thoughtfully help her address this. She can’t go through life with a child and hide out at their house as a recluse. Doing internet art shows. How can she ever be a productive and positive influence on Xavier’s life and his ultimate well being if she cannot bring herself to be part of the community environment? Makes me very sad.

    2. This was a difficult chapter. Having clenched fist during most of the ride home looks not good. Then the comment of “Strangers in our home”, that is more distressing. May the most distressing. She has to know that Bette has to have help with child care. She cannot tend to her job, the needs of household and having her wife in the hospital without getting help. And none of her friends have the medical training needed for a premature child. So when you first hire someone or meet someone they may be strangers. But these people are not strangers once the have been entrusted with the care of your child. And Tina must trust Bette to have done the background checks and reference checks to ensure that her child is in good hands. Tina seems to be taking a step back from where she was prior to this incident. Based on upon her response to the ride and to the nurse, I would say she is not ready to come home on a full time basis. If Tina were concerned about her child’s welfare, she would want to meet the people who have been giving care to her child in her absence. She would want to know for herself that these people were a worthy substitute for her or Bette. Before she always had problems with crowds and noise. Now she has problems with new individuals. Humm… still got a long way to go.

      • I agree. Calling the nurses strangers is a red flag. Bette must not excuse this or pretend it is fine. Sorry to state this but Tina as she is right now could not be trusted to care for Xavier. She is still focused on having failed him rather than the here and now and his health care and well being. She is going to have to interact with the professionals taking care of her son. End of story. Until she is able to do that and recognize why she needs to do that then she has quite a ways to go in her recovery. A very sad reality but hopefully Bette has the courage to see this.

    3. I don’t think Tina is ready. I see no growth. She has a long way to go and may have a mental illness that requires ongoing treatment. Trying not to put on my clinical hat here but this chapter made me really sad. I would understand skittish, nervous or apprehensive but she didn’t even react or go upstairs when the baby cried. May be too soon to come home. Hoping I am wrong. Thanks

      • In my opinion Tina is definitely not ready. Her non reaction to Xavier’s crying is yet another red flag. Tina made tea instead. Totally in her own world: “Tina finished making the mugs of tea, walking into the living room she put them onto the large oak coffee table before sitting onto the large sofa, sinking into the cushions. She smiled at the smell and feel of the familiar.” Not even a thought of her baby. This is not a good thing. I hope Bette shares this with the doctors. But Bette saying I know over and over to Tina is problematic as well.

    4. I think that this weekend was to soon for Tina to go home. She has a long way to go and needs to be more stable.

      But i kind of understand she sees the private nurses as strangers, she was in hospital for six weeks, feels guilty about leaving her son and wife and then returns home to see other people in her home. She’s nervous enough already and then coming home and seeing someone else in her safe haven is just difficult. She knows that Xavier needs special help and wants the best for her son, but at this point she just isn’t able to handle this yet. In addition, she is already socially awkward with other people anyway.

      Let’s not immediately condemn Tina for her behavior towards the nurses and for not going upstairs to see Xavier when he cried, Bette went right away to him. She will have to get used to being at home slowly, she has spent six consecutive weeks in the hospital, an environment where she has been in isolation with only brief visits from Bette and Xavier and therapy.

      I am confident that Tina will eventually be able to cope with everything better, learn to love herself, get rid of her negative self-image, doesn’t feel anymore like she’s worthless, but that simply takes time. It’s important that Bette and her friends, especially Shane, are there for her and give her that time to get better.

      • Hey Bibi! You know I stalk you. Good post. In Fanfiction anything can and does happen. This is a very serious and courageous story. I have a lot of empathy for Tina and do not condemn her in any way. And I totally understand where you are coming from. That being said, Tina is Xavier’s mother and I think her not reacting to Xavier’s crying is extremely problematic. It’s a mother’s instinct. Regardless of the amount of time she has been away. It may be symptomatic of something more serious. Hopefully not. Tina has to deal with her social anxiety. One would hope that is already happening. Could Bette have introduced the nurse? Should she have done that? Would Tina have been receptive? Should Bette have taken Tina to Xavier? I do not know. But – Tina living a life with Bette is one thing. Tina now has a son. A son who needs some extra time to catch up. She will most likely always prefer being at the house alone with only Bette and Xavier and maybe Shane but she has to be able to effectively interact with Xavier’s nurses, the doctors, and one day his teachers. She is Xavier’s voice for now, his advocate forever and that is so huge! Her tiny protected bubble may always be preferred but it is not good for Tina and it is terrible for Xavier. And it puts a heavy burden on Bette. What if the adoption does not go through? It gives me no pleasure to write this as I am really rooting for Tina. She wants to be a happy and successful wife and mother. She wants more children. I hope everything you write comes to pass for her. But Tina truly does have a long way to go.

        • I agree. I see where you are coming from BiBi – if it was just the way she sat with her tea while Bette went to get Xavier that would be one thing but it was her behavior in the car, the fear of strangers in her house ( I don’t remember her talking about strangers in the rehab place she is in…) and her perseverance on how bad she feels for leaving. All that combined make me worry. But this is fiction and I applaud and bow down to UK”s courage in presenting us with such a moving and difficult story. Maybe her weekend had to be hard for Tina to see that she needs to quit hiding, sometimes hard times invite growth. My favorite author Glennon Doyle says “first the pain, then the rising” so maybe Tina will be our Phoenix coming up from the ashes of her former self. Geez, I have been quarantined for too long if I am writing all this.

        • Hi Billy, i give you permission to stalk me anytime you want!

          I am not a mother so i am not familiar with a mother and child relationship. I am adopted and before that i lived in several foster homes and lets say i never had a good relationship with the mothers i had. I do know something about Tina’s problems and how she feels and she has a long way to go and yes she needs to start to overcome her social anxiety but that takes time. In time i have full confidence that Tina will be the mother and wife she wants to be.

          And i know you don’t condemn Tina and root for her, maybe i didn’t express that well, English is not my native language.

          I am glad we can have healthy discussions over this story. At the end we all want the same thing, a happy Tibette family.

          • Bless you Bibi. Have you ever heard “Where you stand depends on where you sit?” It certainly is true. We all have different and unique life experiences. I agree that it is good to comment and discuss this story. Important actually. As you know from previous comments my son was born prematurely. I also have two adopted children. I know a little about foster care and the adoption process. These days, I am not only a mother but a first time grandmother of a four month old baby boy. I am babysitting him as I write this. So I admit that I really think about Xavier when reading. And I really want Tina to get well. Yes we need a happy and healthy Tibette family always!

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