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    I die for you, love, from you

     

    It was the strangest mix of emotions she had ever experienced. But then again, Tina had always been good at making her feel things she had never felt before.

     

    Her friends had been trying to engage her in conversation for the last 20 minutes, but her mind was elsewhere. She had already told them everything that had happened: Tina’s surprise visit, the apology, the kiss, the crying, everything.

     

    Everything but the tender feelings her heart couldn’t help but conjure.

     

    ”So… what are you going to do?” Alice said for the fourth time in the conversation.

     

    Bette sighed and rubbed her temples with her fingers, ”I don’t know.”

     

    Alice and Shane looked at each other; they weren’t as surprised as Bette was. Although the way it happened was completely unexpected, they had always believed that the two of them would get back together eventually.

     

    They were meant to be. Everyone but them seemed to know that. Actually, everyone except Tina until a few days ago.

     

    ”I still can’t believe she said that,” the blonde said, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms. Bette almost laughed; she didn’t either. It still felt like a dream she hadn’t woken up from.

     

    ”Me neither,” she said. Bette was still expecting the alarm to go off and wake her from this illusion; this fever dream her subconscious had conjured up.

     

    ” Like, did she really break up with Carrie?” Alice asked again, and Bette was ready to leave this conversation. She loved her friends dearly, they had been through so much with her, but sometimes they (Alice) could be exhausting, especially in moments like this.

     

    ”It seems so,” was all she could say. To be honest, she and Tina didn’t talk much about what had happened between the blonde and Carrie, only that it had ended and that Tina regretted their divorce. There were so many questions she didn’t have answers for.

     

    ”You’re much less excited than I thought,” well, wasn’t that the truth? She was excited in a way, but at the same time, she wasn’t.

     

    ”I… I just don’t know how to feel,” she said. And she didn’t; she loved Tina. God, she loved her in an intrinsic, almost metaphysical way that she couldn’t explain.

    Comments

    1. Okay, so where are we? Bette is completely confused as to what to do next. And who can blame her. Tina walks in and says its over with Carrie and she wants Bette back but there is no real path forward on how to make this happen. Bette seems to have more fear of the situation than hope about the possibilities. That is understandable. And although Alice and Shane are trying to be supportive, they have no real suggestions either. My recommendation would be for Bette to go away for a couple of days to spend some time alone perhaps in the mountains. Do some hiking, some swimming something to just breathe the air and feel the sunshine. She needs to meditate on her own well being and something may occur to her as to what her path forward should be. Maybe take Angie with her… it won’t be long before private time with Angie will no longer be available.

      Thanks for the chapter… I feels so badly for Bette… give us more when you can.

    2. Hey Sof,

      Sad to hear you were that sick last week, i hope you will recover fully soon!

      It’s a mess, i totally understand Bette being confused, fearful. She let Tina go and now Tina is back, wanting her back. Bette is so in love with Tina but Tina left her three times and she let her go, let her go so she could move on. What to do?
      I agree with Martha, let Bette go away for a few days and maybe take Angie with her.
      Love the interaction with Alice, Shane and Bette. We saw that hardly in GQ.

      Take care of yourself!

    3. Hey Sof. Sorry to hear you’ve been sick. Wishing you a speedy recovery.

      Seems to me Bette is having a mental breakdown and everyone including Tina, Alice, and Shane are oblivious to it. She needs REAL time (like months or a year) and REAL space away from Tina. She needs therapy to get her emotional health and well-being as well her as self-esteem and worth to a place where Tina does not control her very existence. Bette needs to be able to stand strong on her own and stop this vicious dysfunctional cycle of being broken every few years when Tina decides to leave for whatever reason, play her games, mess up someone else’s life then run back to Bette to get her hopes up just to do it again. Tina needs to get MAJOR help and Bette needs to stop indulging her insanity.

      What Tina is doing is emotional abusive, but until someone calls her on it, she will continue to hurt and destroy Bette, and eventually Angie will suffer too. Let’s see her actual work that she’s doing and let everyone stop forcing Bette to always be the one to take the blame and think she’s the problem and not good enough and deserves to be treated in this way.

      What is Tina doing now to get better at loving and committing and to stop breaking hearts and running away? Who is her support system? I think that is why she is always spiraling because she doesn’t have any friends or family to ground her and she doesn’t ever take time to face her issues, and work on herself. I said it in an earlier chapter. She needs to leave Bette alone until she deserves her and has learned how to love her!

    4. I hope you haven’t given up with this story. We need to find out what’s going on with Bette and Tina. Will they get together or will Bette let her go. Please send new chapters soon. Thanks and Happy Writing.

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