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Tina sat at the kitchen island her laptop in front of her and she was scrolling through an online retailer. Bette walked up behind her, putting her coffee down, she smiled at what her wife was shopping for,
“Anyone would think our son is going to be one soon,”
“He is, our little fighter is going to be one and he is crawling and jumping and is happier than a pig in shit most days,” Tina laughed as she spoke.
“He is, can’t believe he is going to be one,”
“I can, also means another anniversary is coming up,”
“You don’t need to think about your break.”
“I know but it will be a year since I walked out the doors of my home, not knowing where I was going.”
“We’ve never really talked about that night.” Bette remarked.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Tina asked, reaching up and rubbing her hand.
“Sometimes I want to know what happened, others I don’t know,”
“Is Xavier sleeping?”
“Yeah and the nurses have gone if you’re worried it’s just you and me.”
Tina got up and took her wife’s hand. She led her out to the pool, Tina kicked of her shoes and sat on the edge of the pool her toes dipping in. Bette rolled her trousers up and did the same sitting beside her wife.
“I’m going to tell you everything, well everything. I remember, okay,”
“Xavier hadn’t been home long, I kept waking night after night with this horrible feeling, that I was good enough for our family, that you’d both be better of without me.” Tina took a deep breath, “That night I woke up, got out of bed, you were sleeping peacefully. So was Xavier. I kissed him goodbye, I took nothing by my car keys and started driving. I wanted to die.”
Bette gasped slightly hearing her wife say it broke her heart. She rubbed her wife’s hand.
“I kept driving further and further away, I knew I wanted to be out of the way. I ran out of gas I think, I pulled over and walked into the woods. My mind was foggy. I wasn’t me. I found some glass, cut myself, my arms.” Tina touched the scars with her other hands. “I was bleeding and knew my body was starting fail, I heard a car on the nearby road. I ran towards it. Erm. I knew I was going to die then. But it was the police. I was alive.