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    Our First Fight

    “Tina, what’s holding you back? Do you think Bette will change once you move in together?”

    Tina sits back and contemplates her therapist’s question. Today is Tuesday, and this is now the fifth session she has spent discussing this decision since Bette asked her on Saturday. Tina’s anxiety is visible by her flushed neck and chest and her bouncing legs. Uncertain, she responds, “Yes… no… I don’t know…”

    Heather sees the hesitation in Tina’s eyes, and she presses further. “It’s okay Tina, it’s okay to be honest here – it’s okay to be honest with yourself – there’s no judgement.”

    “I…” Tina blows out a deep breath and runs her hands through her hair. “I’m afraid that… I’ll change… once we move in together?” She whispers.

    “Okay, why do you think that?”

    “Bette’s so strong…” Tina smiles warmly as she thinks about her Beloved. “She’s been through so much, but she’s so resilient. She’s so private… but she was so open with me… she makes such healthy choices and takes charge even when I know she’s struggling inside.” Tears prick Tina’s eyes as she looks at Heather. “You know, she started seeing Dan twice a week just because she knew she needed the help and support. She’s taking care of herself so that she remains healthy, and our relationship remains healthy.”

    “Those all sound like really great things and will be really beneficial as your relationship progresses outside of treatment – whether you live together or not. Tell me, why are those things not reassuring? When you think of those things, why does that give you hesitation rather than anticipation to move in with Bette?”

    A few tears trickle down Tina’s cheeks. “She’s strong… but as strong as she is, I’m just as weak… I’m afraid… I’ll lose myself in her.” Tina closes her eyes, the lightest of smiles appearing on her face as she pictures Bette. “She makes me feel so safe… so wanted… so loved…” Tina opens her eyes and as she does more tears fall. “I’m afraid I’ll surrender all autonomy to ensure I always have those feelings. I’m independent, I have an important, high-profile job; I’ll resent her when I realize I’ve lost my autonomy, but I think my biggest fear… is that… she’ll leave me… when she realizes how weak and useless I am. She doesn’t want a sycophant; she wants a partner. I’m afraid I can’t be her equal… that I’m not her equal.”

    Page 1 of 512345


    1. Oh Bette….jumped the gun. Well, this is not insurmountable. Put everything back in place in Tina’s apartment and then start again. Ask her if she would like to move in with you. If she is amenable, have her call the shots as to when and how it will happen. Patience. Patience….Bette.

      Tina… please give in and call Bette before Saturday and allow her to know that this can be fixed. If Bette cannot figure it out, you have to tell her. Bette cannot assume a response from Tina. She must ask and get a response before acting. And Tina has to do the same.

      Good chapter….sorry that you are working so hard. Would love to see more of this story. I’ve missed it. Thanks for all you do..

    2. Great to see you back Elizabeth!

      I can understand that your work is taking so much more time than before. Please take care of yourself!

      I am not do sure what happened here, Bette assumed that Tina agreed to move in together and jumped ahead before they talked about it? I find Tina’s reaction a little harsh, why didn’t she tell Bette what bothered her instead to send Bette to home and saying it is better not to have contact till Saturday.

      It is hard not to listen to the voices in your head and i think Heather is a good therapist and will be able to help Tina. Tina is strong, she just need to learn to love herself and truly accept and see she is a strong woman and that will take time.

      Bette is sweet and understanding in showing Tina her support and love, it is what Tina needs but she needs it too. They are both damaged and by being supportive of each other and knowing that they need to communicate and not being shy to asked for help from others, they can make it.

      Thank you for the update!

      • Tina’s reaction may seem a little over the top, but remember Tina is still learning healthy communication.

        In the next chapter we’ll get a better understanding of how Bette’s alpha personality and Tina’s inability to express her feelings have come together to make the perfect storm that we just witnessed, and how they’ll work together to get through it.

        Thanks for reading! 🙏🏼

    3. Glad to have you back. I’m in the UK and being over 70 in Isolation!

      Thanks for the post, not a bundle of laughs but welcome anyway.

      Please try to post soon need to escape the real world just now.

      Stay safe

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