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    Please Make It Stop

    Author’s Note:

    There is a major trigger in this chapter: Suicidal thoughts

    I’ve gotten a few private messages on my twitter from fellow readers asking for this: I wrote it..and deleted it…and rewrote it… and deleted it… and it was a neverending cycle.

    Anyways, here you go.

    One Month Later: Los Angeles

    “So… how has it been going?” Kathy asked, twirling her pen in her hand as she watched the blonde continue to look at the floor.

    “Same as last week,” Tina muttered, not looking up from the ground.

    Kathy stared at the former FBI profiler, “let’s start from the beginning, mhm?”

    Tina just barely removed her glare from the speck in the carpet towards her therapist, “like the very beginning? You know all that shit.”

    Kathy ignored the lash out, “no…let’s discuss Will. Tell me about his funeral?”

    Tina swallowed hard as she tightened her grip on her encased hands, “bad.”

    “Bad?” Kathy asked, “how was it bad?”

    Tina looked off into the distance as the memory replayed in her head….

    One Month Before: Washington D.C.

    “Tee?” Bette gently asked, putting her hand on the shoulder of the blonde. “We have to get going soon. The car is here.”

    Tina barely acknowledged the brunette as she stared at a picture of her former work partner on his old desk. “I don’t know if I can do it,” she whispered to herself.

    Bette bit her lower lip, briefly looking over to a concerned Delia, “sure you can.”

    Tina stared blankly, turning around to look into the dark familiar mocha eyes, “I-…”

    Bette wrapped an arm around the stoic blonde and led her towards the elevator, “the funeral is only for an hour.”

    Tina stared blankly in front of her, watching the BAU office escape as the elevator door shut. She knew it was the last time she would be there.

    Bette looked over at Delia who was biting her lower lip. Still keeping her arm wrapped around the blonde, she leaned over to the agent, “I’m worried.”

    “Me too,” Delia whispered, knowing that Tina hasn’t told Bette what she was like previously. Last time, AJ was just hurt. This time? This time 1 person hurt; 3 people dead. There was no coming back from that.

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    Comments

    1. Kylie. Thank you for bringing this story back. You did a great job with the subject matter. I really liked how you made it personal for Bette to understand what Tina is dealing with. I would have hoped to see the support of Delia and AJ to help get Tina through this rough time instead of leaving it all up to Bette and the therapist. Tina was willing to drop everything and run to DC when Delia got shot. Now Tina is totally broken and they’ve abandoned her, not only putting all the burden of her mental and physical health on Bette but also the financial burden of being the only one bringing home a salary, and protecting Angie from her mother’s anguish. Now is when they need to step up for their family. Looking forward to the next one. .

      • Hey BAT2012,

        So this chapter is only taking place within a span of a few hours- and I felt a deep need to re-connect Bette and Tina in this chapter.

        You’ll see a bit more of Tina’s healing process (and who is involved) in the next few chapters.

        :)

        • Thank you. I know I probably jump the gun and you will fix this. I just felt like everyone including Tina thought Bette was ill equipped to be a part of their secret world but now she’s been thrown into it and she needs their expertise and knowledge of what happened to Tina for her to be effective in the healing process. I like that Bette plays central role but as I said in previous comments she’s been traumatised too, and her mental health is at risk. I hope they both make it out of this or at least get to a place where they can function.

    2. I must say i liked idea that if exactly Bette be play major part in Tina’s healing progress. Not Tina fbi colleagues, not her LA friends and ex-lovers, but Bette. And maybe Angelica too. For me it would be simbolic

    3. Kylie-am happy you are back with this story. As I wrote earlier Tina will require a LOT of psychiatric help. She now has PTSD which is difficult to overcome no matter who tries to help. She won’t be able to unsee all that she has witnessed. I wish you luck in trying to create a happy ending here and thanks for continuing.

    4. I felt this completely, and even shed some tears myself. Grief and guilt is something real tricky and my heart just breaks for Tina.

      You wrote this perfectly Kylie, thank you.

    5. Hi Kylie, i didn’t read this chapter so far, i will do for sure, but the subject is a little to hard to read because it is something my wife deals with since her youth. A compliment that you write about it and with such care!

    6. I found this difficult to read and tears were present almost the whole time of reading.

      I know you had a number of attempts at writing and I think you got it right. I do hope you can now go forward in the story in a positive way and await the next post

      Thanks for sharing your Talent with us
      SG

    7. I’m sorry but her therapist sucks.. And the wrong kind in my option. Tina needs in house help. And you would think FBI would have sent her some where not Bette finding a therapist.. Which in my option needs one of her own on what she has seen and been through. She will need to understand it just as Tina had to show her. Tina needs lots of help not just a couple days a week then fend for herself the rest of the time. Love the story very deep and lots to take in. Very but wrench. I hope Bette and Tina get the help they need.. Tim’s s will not be an over night fix. Thank you

    8. Hey Kylie, hope all is well. Will we be reading a new chapter any time in the near future? I hope so, you kind of left us in a very bad space. I know this is going to take some time for Tina to even feel like she is not at fault for what happened,but, I hope she starts to lean on Bette more feel the love she has for her so she doesn’t push her away. They have been through so much sadness and anger, let Bette’ strength and love help to hold them together. Waiting with bated breath. PPS

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