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    Ten Degrees of Separation – (Chapter: Chapter 3: Totem and Taboo; Part 1: The Language of Grace)

    Abby… oh god why had she gone up on that roof, but that wasn’t the issue really, was it? Not the roof. Not the heat. Not the sweat binding their skin– and she couldn’t blame anything but herself when she knew she was letting her cunt make the decisions she had been avoiding. To put it crudely.

    And where was her heart in all this?

    Oh, that was on the ground floor of County General, probably with her hand in someone else’s chest cavity– and vaguely Kim wondered if one could resuscitate an already beating heart. Or at least recalibrate it so maybe it would match the cadence in her blood. Or the twitch in her muscles that sent her hand skittering to the phone and dialing the first half of a number that she had no business knowing by heart.

    At least not anymore.

    "What are you doing?"

    Pause. "Nothing." Pause longer still. "Watching TV." Hesitant laugh. "Not even that, really. You?"

    "Thinking."

    "About?"

    "Things I shouldn’t."

    "Is this a wise conversation to be having?"

    "No."

    "You drinking?"

    "Self-medicating."

    "That getting to be a habit?"

    "Not looking to twelve step it right now."

    "I understand the feeling."

    "You?"

    "Still sober."

    "Good."

    "Barely."

    Silence.

    "I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that."

    "I shouldn’t have called."

    "I had a love affair with the stuff long before I met you."

    "I seem to have the same effect."

    "That’s true." The scritch and shuffle of someone stretching out. "But you’re not quite as lethal to my liver."

    "Your psyche, however…"

    "Not even close. Don’t give yourself that much power over me. I don’t."

    "Strike one to the solar plexus."

    "Not that I couldn’t, Kim… but… I can’t." Another pause. "Not if I don’t want to start white-chipping it again. And I can’t go back to that place."

    "That’s good to hear. I couldn’t bear…"

    "It wouldn’t be you. It would be me. Every step of the way back down into Hell."

    Snicker.

    "That strike your funny bone?"

    "Everybody seems to have Dante on the brain tonight."

    Page 3 of 512345

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