I pondered these questions as I watched her sleep and thought about last night. I was guilt-ridden over the fact that I had cut my wifes face and blackened her eye as I flailed around while I dreamed – a dream of finally meeting THE ONE, HER, MY FAN FIC FANTASY, THE WRITER WHO INTRODUCED ME TO THE OH SO ADDICTIVE DRUG OF BnT DRAMA. And just like the reality of my clumsy and awkward existence, my dream ended in disaster. Looking at K snoozing away even made ME wince with pain as the shiner seemed to have taken on a life of its own during the night.

(SHE IS ***** GONNA KILL ME WHEN SHE SEES THAT – WHAT THE ***** WAS I DOING, WAS I THINKING DREAMING ABOUT her.???)

There, snoring beside her, was my perverted border collie, Elvis, also sleeping soundly and totally ignorant of the increasingly loud buzzing of the saws. Not wanting to be left out, the mutt had begged to be bandaged up as he too was so rudely awakened and knocked off the bed during my fitful fantasy last night. So I wrapped one of those flesh colored ace stretchy things around his head and put a black patch over his left eye to make him feel as if he were part of the walking wounded in our bedroom. And there they both lay, my lover and my dog, battered and bruised and eyes blackened. I shook my head in disgust at my handiwork.

Thankfully, in her own way K had forgiven me, almost instantly, for the unprovoked attack, and while we watched that episode of L for the third time she got just a little stirred up . Couple that excitement with her knowing just how bad I actually felt for maiming her, she did her best to make me feel better. She is SO good at making me feel better, and when she was done I must admit that I was feeling a whole lot better.

I was thinking about going outside and asking the tree trimmers if they could come back later in the morning as I wanted K to sleep in a little longer. Neither of us had remembered that we had hired them to prune the palm fronds and both of us nearly fell out of bed once again when that first roar of the saw was engaged. Being the power tool freak that she is, K was much quicker than I at realizing what was going on. And I, knowing just how much the sound of drilling, chopping, cutting, and vibrating makes K wet with want, I figured I should repay her for making me feel so much better last night.