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“Why did you hate yourself?”
“I knew, Bette, I knew that I had helped push you into the arms of another woman. I hadn’t noticed that you were lost, depressed even. Having serious doubts about us having a baby…”
“Ti, I never doubted us having a baby, I was doubting my ability to be a good mother, to be a good partner. I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, with Faye Fucking Buckley and Franklin and then us losing our son. I felt like I couldn’t reach out too you and I lost myself because of it. I should have spoken up, said something to you instead of jumping into bed with Candace,”
Tina drew back at her name, she hated that woman. she couldn’t not hate her. she had helped destroy her relationship.
“I should have seen it but I was wrapped up in myself, in my own pain. I would have seen that you were hurting, that your life was heading downwards and I could have stopped it but I didn’t. I was a selfish, heartless bitch.”
“You have never been heartless Ti,” Bette replied quickly. “And we can all be selfish sometimes.”
Tina could see how calm Bette was, their food arrived and Tina started picking at it. they eat in silence before ordering another round of drinks. Bette excused herself and used the bathroom. Tina could see her bump, Bette had always been a slim woman. she was a runner. She always looked amazingly toned. Tina took a deep breath. she had to tell Bette the truth. She couldn’t let this come between them, being with Bette here, seeing her. Tina’s feelings all resurfaced. She was still in love with Bette. she knew that. She couldn’t switch off her feelings and even after three years it was there.
Bette walked back to the table and Tina noticed that women still looked at her, Bette didn’t seem to notice much, her attention was Tina. Bette sat back down and picked up her fresh cup of tea.
“Sorry about that,”
“No need to be sorry, we all have to go.” Tina smiled
“Pregnancy makes you go more, I think the baby is sat…” she stopped. Bette saw that Tina was white as a sheet her mouth was open.