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“She just… she just went into my apartment, packed all my clothes, and moved it to her house – without asking me! We were supposed to be thinking things through, and then discussing it; she acted like everything was already decided. Why did she do that?!”
“Did you ask her?”
Tina stops pacing the office to look at her therapist Heather. “Ask her…”
“Yes, did you ask her why she made such a huge decision without consulting with you first?”
“No, no I did not; I didn’t need to. She was trying to control me like everyone else, and I can’t do that.” Tina says coldly.
“You think she was trying to control you and that’s why she made this decision without consulting you?”
“Yes, and I can’t be controlled anymore… not even by her.”
Heather can see the emotion in Tina’s face and can hear it in her voice. Due to the conversation they had in their session yesterday, she was at an advantage to know the fears that are clouding Tina’s ability to see positive motives in Bette’s actions. Heather leans forward placing her elbows on her knees as she looks to Tina. “I don’t think that’s why she started packing your apartment without talking to you.”
“No… she…” Tina trails off as her voice begins to break.
“Tina, I know you’re struggling – I know you’re scared, but I don’t think Bette was trying to control you.” Tina wipes a few tears as she sits on the couch facing Heather. “Let’s look at this objectively: Bette asks you to move in and you, wisely, temper that excitement by suggesting you both meet with your therapists to discuss the reality of taking the next step in your relationship. So, we know that before Bette came to see you yesterday, before she moved all your clothes into her home, she met with Dan Foxworthy – her therapist. I think in that session, Dan would have gone over the realistic pros and cons of living together, and when she was able to give healthy responses to the potential pitfalls he would have been encouraging and agreed it that it is a good idea. So, her excitement returns ten-fold and with all that excitement she forgets the second part of the equation – your therapy session. Instead, she thinks of how amazing it will be to live with you, her soulmate, and begins the moving in process so that as soon as you discharge, you can come home to your new home together. Were her actions insensitive? Yes. Did she fail to communicate? Yes. Was she trying to control you? No. Tina, her excitement got the best of her and she made a mistake, but the mistake was in failing to communicate with her partner; not trying to control her partner.”