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    Treatment Starts

    Tina sat with her chin resting on her knees. She’s looking out of the window, taking in the grounds of the hospital she had been moved too. Bette was getting her the best treatment. She had a private set of rooms and would still be able to see Xavier and Bette daily. She was watching the trees lightly moving in the wind that was gently rustling through the trees.

    The door to her room opened and her doctor, Dr. Rebecca Sims walked into the room. She smiled at Tina.

    “Morning Tina,”

    “Hey,” Tina said, her eyes not leaving the trees.

    Sims walked into the room, closing the door. She took out her iPad and sat on a chair near Tina, still giving her space.

    “How are you feeling today?” Sims asked slowly.

    “I’m okay, missing my wife and son.”

    “They will be here for their daily visit later.”

    “As long as I talk to you,” Tina remarked.

    “You know it doesn’t work like that Tina,” Sims fired back.

    Tina turned her head and looked at the doctor.

    “Are you ready to talk to me a little?”

    “Perhaps.” Tina said slowly.

    “What made you leave that night?”

    “I woke, suddenly. It felt like a pressure on my chest. I was overwhelmed with so many feelings but the over arcing one was that I wasn’t good enough for my son and he was better off without me. I’ve sat helpless beside him in hospital, when he was born early. He is a little fighter and is doing really well but that’s not because of me.”

    “Why not because of you?”

    “My body basically rejected my son, and I went into labour early. I’ve never felt less of a failure even when my father beat me,” Tina’s voice dropped.

    “Why did you father beat you?” Sims asked.

    There was a silence in the room. Tina tried to curl her body closer, she wrapped her arms around her legs tighter.

    “He knew I was gay, I told him mistakenly. He…he was so respected and he thought that I would ruin that.”

    “How often did he hurt you?”

    “A lot, I lost count. Mom didn’t help me. I was her only child and she wouldn’t protect me.” Tina whispered.

    “What happened to your parents?”

    Page 1 of 3123

    Comments

    1. Poor Tina, but Bette is right, the only way is up. It will not be easy but if Tina truly want help and be motivated to work through her demons she will get to a good place and be a family with Bette and Xavier.

    2. Poor Tina… she wants so bad to be with Bette and Xavier but she feels she is not worthy… Tina, pay attention…. Bette is not running from this situation. She is hanging in there with you. There is hope that Tina can recieve the right treatment to resume a perfectly normal life. But it is going to take some time. And she will need to be monitored to be sure that she is not falling into the deep depression she appears to be in.

      At least Tina is beginning to open up to Sims. That is a good step. Once she has hope, she will begin to get better.

      Its going to be a long road…

      Thank you for this chapter…. write and post as soon as you can..

    3. Without sharing too much of my personal story what Tina says makes perfect sense to me. When my son was born so premature and sick I felt like a total failure because I could not carry him to term and began to have terrible panic attacks. Tina was already in a somewhat fragile state and sadly giving birth early has brought everything to the forefront. She will have to go to that dark place but Bette loves her so very much and is there for her and so is Xavier. Still, Bette is walking a fine line here as she totally loves and supports Tina but must also do what is safest and best for all of them. Tina cannot come home until it is safe for all and she has dealt with her demons. Tina is not wrong when she says Bette may not trust her alone with Xavier. This has shaken Bette to the core I would imagine. Meanwhile, I hope that the adoption is moving forward. Bette needs to be able to make decisions regarding Tina’s care while also legally caring and parenting Xavier. How will Tina’s hospitalization impact that process? Heart breaks for Tina. She is such a beautiful and special person and has so much love in her life. Hopefully she can get to a place where she really and truly believes and trusts in that. There will be challenges all around and the process is going to take time. Difficult topic but so worth the read. Thanks!

    4. Tina has post traumatic stress disorder. I too have it. She can overcome it with SSRI anti depressants and continuous cognitive therapy. It takes a long time to overcome.but it can be controlled. I have had mine the better part of over 30 years and dealing with the triggers is not easy. I am in a long term marriage and my wife knows how to help me. Mine came from an abusive childhood and military service combined. My heart goes out to Tina. She needs to regain her self esteem soon.

    5. Additionally, besides the abusive childhood, Tina’s parents are suddenly killed, her house and all her possessions are lost to fire and then her friend commits suicide all are traumatic. Throw in post partum depression with hormones out of whack and there will be a recipe for self destruction.

      • Is it true that Tina is also feeling “survivors’ guilt”. Her Dad crushed her spirit and her Mom watched him do it. Tina eluded to the fact that Dad was driving drunk and had the fatal accident.

        So she was then saddled with the loss of two that she tried to please only to suddenly be “free” to follow her God-given talents (art & business) and dreams.

        Next, a friend that obsessively wants her physical & emotional commitment, only to feel rejected when Tina couldn’t/wouldn’t reciprocate burn her house down!!! Damn.

        Then out of the blue comes Bette free of condemnation , judgement, or demands. A person 180 degrees the opposite of anyone she has ever met. Willing to marry and share in a special world reserved them.

        I totally feel for Tina. Having one’s soul in the abyss just barely able to lift the eyes is the heart-wrenchingly painful. But she wants to recover, to live.

    6. This chapter will sit with me all day. Who else wants to take Tina in their arms and just hold her, never let go. Heart wrenching. Sounds like she is getting the best care possible and Bette is more than doing her share of the hard work, visiting every day with Little Xavier. Goodness. You are tackling a difficult subject, UK and I applaud you for it. Makes me melancholy and sad to read and think about. Looking forward to a new chapter and some hope for this couple and for Tina.
      BK

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