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“I’m mentally unstable is what you really mean,” Tina said softly.
“Honey mental illness is just has bad as a physical illness and we will treat it that way. I’m never going to shame you. We will work at this together. The last thing I want is to wake up in the night and have you gone again.”
Tina looked at her woman
“I never meant to worry you, I don’t know…I can’t explain.” Tina was confused. Her mind was racing again. Bette watched as the light changed in her eyes, she could see Tina’s brain going to that dark place.
“I’m here, I’m going to protect you. I will get you the best help.”
“I’m not worth it.”
“You are. You’re my wife, my lover and my best friend Tina. You’re also a wonderful mother to our baby boy.”
“Is he okay?” Tina looked at him as he peacefully slept and not having a clue in the world of what was happening around him.
“He is fine. He has slept through most of it. He misses you.”
“I’m such a failure. I thought he was better off without me.” Tina turned her head. “I thought you were both better off without me.”
“We are not.” Bette took her wife’s hand and gently kissed her fingers. “I don’t want a life without you. I felt scared that I would lose you and my heart nearly stopped. I will take this journey with you Ti. You can have space but believe me, please. You are loved, very loved and we will get you through this.”
“What if I don’t get better?” Tina whispered.
“Mental health is harder. You might not be better but we learn to deal with it. You’re my world. You’ve given me my son, you’ve given me a life I never expected to have. You’ve been living with mental illness and not dealing with. Now I’m getting you the best help.”
Bette kissed her wife’s forehead again, as Tina closed her eyes. Her mind and body were tired. Bette knew she had to rest.
“Sleep baby,” Bette said softly. She watched as Tina drifted off to sleep.
Bette picked up her cell phone and called Shane, she had promised her an update.
“Hey Bette, how is she?” Shane answered after two rings