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    ina lay back in her hospital bed, her eyes closed. She wasn’t sleeping she was simply resting. Her mind was still racing. She couldn’t believe she had left the house. She had every intention of ending things. She was willing to leave her son and wife behind. She couldn’t get her mind away from that. She had left. She could have ruined everything. She didn’t know why she had let her demons take control. She had never been in this situation before. She felt weak.

    Tina heard the door open and softly close. She knew it wouldn’t be Bette who had gone home with Xavier. Tina opened her eyes and was shocked to see Shane standing there looking very concerned.

                “Hey,” Shane said when she saw Tina watching her, she put the bag down that she had brought with her which was filled with clothes and other items for Tina.

                “Hi, I was expecting you,” Tina said. “I didn’t think anyone would visit.”

    Shane sat down on the chair next to Tina’s bed and took in her friend. Tina was pale and she could see that she was fighting her internal demons.

                “Why wouldn’t we come?”

                “I walked out on Bette, I’m shocked that she even turned up and declared her love for me. I walked away. I was ready to do…” Tina stopped as tears chocked her.

                “Tina, we are here for you. We love you. You have a greater support network that you realise. We are here for you. Even if it’s just to sit here and just be with you or for us to talk.” Shane said softly. She knew that her friend needed the help that Bette was willing to get for her.

    Tina nodded her head. She was so unsure. Her mind was still racing and she could not shut it off. They sat in silence for a little while and Tina knew that Shane wasn’t judging her, she was simply there to be with her.



                “Bette is never going to trust me again.” Tina said slowly. She knew that this was the truth. It was a thought that had been going around in her head.

                “Why do you think that?” Shane asked,

                “I got up in the middle of night kissed our son. My baby. I love him, God I thought he would be better off without me.”

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    1. Hi UKendeavour,

      I will always support you! And i think you are a brave and strong woman to talk about this subject in your story!

      This sentence is so true: Mental health is just as complex as physical health.

      Shane is a Yoda, she clearly knows what she is talking about, did she struggle in the past with the same demons and dark thoughts or somebody close to her?

      It will be a long hard road both for Tina and Bette, it’s important not to rush things and don’t look forward more than a day and sometimes just a hour. It’s good and so important to have friends or family who support you and can help with simple things. But it is Tina who has to do the hard work and Bette need to reassure her she will not leaving her. Bette is also right that it will take time to trust Tina again that she will not walk out again.

      Very good chapter!

    2. Seems I am following Bibi today with comments. Agree with what she wrote. One step at a time. One day at a time. I will only add that Bette should hire a nurse as soon as possible and perhaps move back to LA for a while. Xavier needs a lot of specialized care. More than Bette alone can provide. She is understandably frazzled and confused and overwhelmed. Shane cannot care for a premature infant. And Bette needs to be able to spend essential time with Tina. And she has businesses to manage. Tina is where she needs to be. She will get help. But she needs to believe Bette is there for her. And Bette needs to get the assistance she needs in order to care for Xavier and be there for Tina. And on top of all of this – she is not Xavier’s mother. What should she do? Massive all the way around.

    3. I don’t know but maybe Bette and Tina were to hurry to married and started family? They didn’t know each other for long. Maybe they needed to know each other better before that decision?

    4. Mental illness is difficult to treat and even harder to understand. There are medications which can stabilize individuals but there is generally no cure for severe mental disorders. It takes a special person to be able to live with and care for a person with mental illness. Of all the medical disorders know, mental illness is the one we have the least amount of knowledge of. We really do not have a definite cause such as a certain virus or bacteria or an injury or even a genetic cause. We have no idea how thoughts are formed or how memory works or how some things are pleasurable and others are hurtful. And thus treatment is for symptoms rather than the cause of the problem. Some with severe problems can be treated and monitored and can lead a relatively normal life. Tina’s history has been that she has been able to live a relatively normal life – she went to college and got a law degree. She took her inheritance from her parents and set up a trust for her own future benefit. She purchased a home and property and began a career in painting and drawing. She met and fell in love with Bette and created a life with her. She had her quirks- not liking social activities, or city life but she lived a relatively normal life other wise. With that, perhaps some of her problems is hormonal and related to a post-partum depression which can be treated to get back to her pre-pregnancy life at least. She may have other psychological problems relating to her childhood which can be treated through therapy. This deep dark depression is very concerning. The fact that she hears voices in her head is concerning as well. But since she seems to have gone through long periods of time without showing evidence of these “voices”, perhaps this too can be treated with drugs and therapy. This is going to take some time to get Tina to where she can be function in normal day to day life. But there is hope here. She has declared she wants to work on this. I believe that is her sincere desire. And that is a big step toward normalcy.

      This is a hard story to read. I feel so badly for Tina in her helplessness at the moment. I feel so badly for Bette and her fear of losing her and knowing she has a very sick child as well as a wife at moment and not knowing what to do. But Bette is on the right track. Shane has given her good advice. She now needs to seek out the advice of the medical professionals to guide her path forward. The decision making at this point falls all in her lap. She needs the support from her friends now to keep her head in the game. Take one day at a time until you have a complete picture of what is going on.

      I agree with Billy…. Bette is going to need some high quality professional help with Xavier. And with Tina, lets see what the doctors and the therapist recommend. But don’t give up hope that they cannot have a reasonable romantic and family relationship between Bette, Tina and Xavier.

      Thanks for this story….

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