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                “Tina whatever is happening doesn’t change the fact that Xavier and Bette love you. We know that, they know that. Its going to be a long road. I know it’s going to be tough and you’re going to have to go through so much. But you have to know we are all here for you.”

                “I feel like my world is a mess. I had everything. My career is successful, I’ve got a loving wife and now a son but…” Tina stopped. She could hear her heartbeat in her head as she spoke.

                “What?” Shane said when Tina did not finish her sentence.

                “I feel like I’m destroying their lives. I mean to be with me Bette left LA and moved out into the middle of nowhere. I moved her away from her gallery, her friends, her life in Hollywood.”

                “You made her life better.” Shane said softly. “Listen, Tina I know this is hard and I know you are struggling with demons and feelings you cannot explain or express. We are going to help you. I know for sure we here for you. We are going to get you through this.”

                “I wish it was all that easy.” Tina looked at her friend. “I’m so scared. I can’t lose Bette. She’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. I can’t lose her or Xavier. They are my world. I have failed them. Massively.” 

                “You cannot help this. Mental health is just as complex as physical health. We need to help you, get you steady and start you on a line forward.” Shane took Tina’s hand.

                “I’m sorry,” Tina said softly as she started to cry. Her emotions were overwhelming.

                “Don’t be sorry for this.”

                “Will you be seeing Bette?”

                “Yes ,” Shane said honestly.

                “Tell her I love her, I’m sorry and I want to get through this. Please.”

                “I will,” Shane said softly.

    She spent another hour with Tina, just sitting and talking. Tina was weaker than Shane had been expecting. She knew that she had to support her friends. This road was not going to be the easier for either Bette or Tina. Shane left and drove to the ranch, smiling when Bette opened the door with Xavier in a sling, he was asleep with his head on her chest.

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    1. Hi UKendeavour,

      I will always support you! And i think you are a brave and strong woman to talk about this subject in your story!

      This sentence is so true: Mental health is just as complex as physical health.

      Shane is a Yoda, she clearly knows what she is talking about, did she struggle in the past with the same demons and dark thoughts or somebody close to her?

      It will be a long hard road both for Tina and Bette, it’s important not to rush things and don’t look forward more than a day and sometimes just a hour. It’s good and so important to have friends or family who support you and can help with simple things. But it is Tina who has to do the hard work and Bette need to reassure her she will not leaving her. Bette is also right that it will take time to trust Tina again that she will not walk out again.

      Very good chapter!

    2. Seems I am following Bibi today with comments. Agree with what she wrote. One step at a time. One day at a time. I will only add that Bette should hire a nurse as soon as possible and perhaps move back to LA for a while. Xavier needs a lot of specialized care. More than Bette alone can provide. She is understandably frazzled and confused and overwhelmed. Shane cannot care for a premature infant. And Bette needs to be able to spend essential time with Tina. And she has businesses to manage. Tina is where she needs to be. She will get help. But she needs to believe Bette is there for her. And Bette needs to get the assistance she needs in order to care for Xavier and be there for Tina. And on top of all of this – she is not Xavier’s mother. What should she do? Massive all the way around.

    3. I don’t know but maybe Bette and Tina were to hurry to married and started family? They didn’t know each other for long. Maybe they needed to know each other better before that decision?

    4. Mental illness is difficult to treat and even harder to understand. There are medications which can stabilize individuals but there is generally no cure for severe mental disorders. It takes a special person to be able to live with and care for a person with mental illness. Of all the medical disorders know, mental illness is the one we have the least amount of knowledge of. We really do not have a definite cause such as a certain virus or bacteria or an injury or even a genetic cause. We have no idea how thoughts are formed or how memory works or how some things are pleasurable and others are hurtful. And thus treatment is for symptoms rather than the cause of the problem. Some with severe problems can be treated and monitored and can lead a relatively normal life. Tina’s history has been that she has been able to live a relatively normal life – she went to college and got a law degree. She took her inheritance from her parents and set up a trust for her own future benefit. She purchased a home and property and began a career in painting and drawing. She met and fell in love with Bette and created a life with her. She had her quirks- not liking social activities, or city life but she lived a relatively normal life other wise. With that, perhaps some of her problems is hormonal and related to a post-partum depression which can be treated to get back to her pre-pregnancy life at least. She may have other psychological problems relating to her childhood which can be treated through therapy. This deep dark depression is very concerning. The fact that she hears voices in her head is concerning as well. But since she seems to have gone through long periods of time without showing evidence of these “voices”, perhaps this too can be treated with drugs and therapy. This is going to take some time to get Tina to where she can be function in normal day to day life. But there is hope here. She has declared she wants to work on this. I believe that is her sincere desire. And that is a big step toward normalcy.

      This is a hard story to read. I feel so badly for Tina in her helplessness at the moment. I feel so badly for Bette and her fear of losing her and knowing she has a very sick child as well as a wife at moment and not knowing what to do. But Bette is on the right track. Shane has given her good advice. She now needs to seek out the advice of the medical professionals to guide her path forward. The decision making at this point falls all in her lap. She needs the support from her friends now to keep her head in the game. Take one day at a time until you have a complete picture of what is going on.

      I agree with Billy…. Bette is going to need some high quality professional help with Xavier. And with Tina, lets see what the doctors and the therapist recommend. But don’t give up hope that they cannot have a reasonable romantic and family relationship between Bette, Tina and Xavier.

      Thanks for this story….

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