Haha! I think I got lost in the grass, didn’t I? So to the original question: Have I ever considered/attempted shifting gears sexually?
Yes, I tried (on more than one occasion) because I thought life would be easier and safer. But each time was painful and nauseating. Nothing got easier, and in fact, I was less safe. But I kept thinking it was like forcing myself to eat Brussels sprouts because they’re good for me even though I can’t stand the sight, smell, feel, or taste of them. But then I realized I had a false analogy at work. Dick ain’t Brussels sprouts and there ain’t any good from having one in my life. It was tons more work and a lot more complicated, there was more danger to me from violence and sexual assault, and I was getting sicker physically and emotionally, particularly from the gas-lighting that males are so good at.
Once I gave up on trying to force myself into the norm, which was unnatural for me, I had to grow a spine and learn to stand up for myself. I love women. I will always love women. I don’t want to be with anyone but a woman.
If other women can do it, good for them. More power to them. Hope they’re happy! But I been there done that. And…the entire time I was forcing myself to try and live a heteronormative life, I never said to myself or anyone I was bisexual or straight. I always said I was a lesbian.