I didn’t say a word to Kyla when I went inside. I brushed past her ignoring her questioning glares. When I reached my room I sprawled out onto my bed. It were a mere few seconds before I thought about my phone. Digging through cloths and covers, I finally found it. There was a voicemail. Sitting down on my bed, I listen to Spencer’s message.

“Hey Ash it’s Spencer. I guess you don’t have your phone on you, so I’m just going to call my aunt and have her pick me up.”

“Shit,” I cursed to myself. I can’t believe I forgot to pick her up. Sliding off my bed, I walked over to the window. Pulling open my shade, I looked across the street to Spencer’s room. Her shade was pulled down, but it appeared to bit lit up inside. She must be home by now. Throwing on a sweat shirt I decided I’ll just have to think up my apology on the way over there…

“Maybe I’m not meant to be happy,” I sighed to myself as I played with the edge of my wrist band. A tear fell down my cheek and into my lips. It tasted salty and bitter. It tasted like my fucken life. I deserve this. I deserve to be miserable I repeated over and over inside my head. I’ve screwed up so many times and I fucken deserve this. Closing my eyes, I let my body fall backwards onto my bed. But when I opened my eyes Ashley was standing in front of me.

“Hey,” she greeted me timidly.

“Hey Ash,” I didn’t want to sound hurt but I knew it came out that way. “What’s up?”

“Spencer I’m sorry.”

“Why?” I asked miserably. “It’s not your fault.”

“Are you mad at me?” Did she already know I saw her and Aiden together?

“No,” I sighed shaking my head. “It’s not your fault you like Aiden.” It’s mine for not seeing it coming.

“Aiden? Spencer what are you talking about?”

“I was you two together.”

“Spence, Aiden and I are just friends.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me. I mean we’re just friends right?” Just friends, those words hurt a lot more than I thought they would.

“Spencer there is absolutely nothing going on between Aiden and me.”

“Ok then what was that kiss Ash huh? Then what the hell was that kiss? Maybe it was just my imagination, but it sure looked like you were enjoying it.”

“What do you care anyways? Why should I explain anything to you when you lie to me constantly? You keep so much shit from me Spencer and I know you do. And even if I were together with Aiden it wouldn’t be any of your fucken business. It’s not like you’re my girlfriend or anything Spencer.”

“You don’t know anything about me,” I sighed.

“That’s because you wont tell me anything Spencer.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” I stated barley above a whisper.

“Then try me,” she demanded getting close enough to where she grabbed both of my arms and pinned me against the bed. “Fucken try me.”

“Get off of me,” I grumbled trying to push her off of me, but she just pushed me down harder. “You don’t want to fucken know Ash. You don’t want to know.”

“Yes I do. I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t want to know.”

“You would never understand, and I can’t lose you.”

“Try me. Try me,” she stated keeping a firm grip on me. “Spencer I care about you. Why can’t you just tell me?”

“I can’t,” I mumbled looking anywhere but at her.

“Spencer look at me,” she demanded. “Look at me.”

“I can’t Ash. I can’t.”

“Whatever,” she sighed letting go and backing towards the door. “By the way I’m sorry I forgot to pick you up. And she was gone…