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    Don’t Cry Out. – (Chapter: 4. Guilt and Bliss are my shoulder angels.)

                “Finnish spice cookies.”

                Spencer glanced back up at her and smiled, then took a bite, satisfied with the answer. Taste immediately flooded her mouth, coming in waves as she recognized different flavors – almond, brown sugar, and maybe cinnamon, accompanied with other delicious spices and tastes that made a Finnish spice cookie. Spencer wondered how something shaped like a pig could taste so good.

                Ashley seemed to be waiting for a reaction, and Spencer couldn’t help but smile and attempt to stifle some escaping giggles. “It’s…it’s really good!” she managed to get out, looking again at the cookie in her hand. It was now missing its head. “Are you Finnish or something? What’s in this?”

                Ashley seemed immensely satisfied with the reaction, folding her arms across her chest as she grinned and leaned back in her chair. “Nope. But my friend, his mother is Finnish, and she gave me the recipe a long time ago. I’ve since worked to improve it, and sorta came up with my own version of them. But I’ve kept the traditional pig shape, because…it’s cute.” She shrugged, still grinning. “But I can’t tell you what’s in them, because Jack would kill me.” She nodded towards the burly, bearded man behind the counter that had originally offered Spencer the coffee.

                Smiling, the blonde took another bite of the pig-shaped cookie. “Guess I’ll have to come by more often, then, and force you to make them for me.” She joked, poking the rest of it into her mouth.

                The other girl just smiled. “You won’t have to force me, Em. I’ll make you cookies any time.”

     

                A paper bag was clutched firmly in Spencer’s hands as she exited Farley Bakery, carting around a batch of the delicious pig-shaped cookies as she fought the urge to simultaneously skip and jump into the middle of traffic. She was caught between total bliss and mind-crushing guilt, walking away from the friendly brunette and the homey bakery.

                Bliss, to her left, was trying to pull her away from guilt, its arm linked through hers tenderly as it whispered in her ear with a giddy disposition in an attempt to keep her from feeling any guilt. It willed her to be happy for the wonderful things happening to her; she was over Aiden, she’d made a friend that wasn’t one of her brother’s friends first, she was changing, possibly for the better, and life was certainly going her way.

                …Except that it was going her way because of a lie. No, a series of lies. That was what Guilt was saying, its tight, angry grip on her arm as it dragged her toward the street. Guilt was telling her, with hoarse, angry whispers, that she was wrong. She shouldn’t be lying to someone who was being so genuine with her. It was turning her whole life into a lie.

                But could she keep it up? Bliss and Guilt disagreed. Bliss said it was for the better, and that she could. She had to. Guilt retorted with hard truths; it would all come back to kick her down, in the end.

                Maybe, she thought, she could evade that particular blow when it came around to her. And everything would be alright.

    Page 5 of 512345

    Comments

    1. why do i feel spencers optimism is sooo gonna bite her in the ass….anyway amazing update as they’ve all been …plzzzzz pms…and i read this one sober im proud of myself …lol..pms!!!!

    2. God, I love this fic. Your unabashed creation of characters out of everything from guilt to a piece of paper to a pig shaped cookie is delightful. I particularly liked the Spencer’s worrying over the potential Wonderland affects of her pig cookie. This is one of the few stories that actually makes me laugh out loud at witty comments. And I’m doubley thrilled because I know you write angst well, too. Seriously, your writing is flawless. Keep updating fast! Please! My life depends on it!

    3. nooo! listen to guilt! at least she can dig herself out before she’s entirely burried. i’m pretty sure right now she can still see a little above ground. i hope? aldkfj. apparently, you know where you’re going with this. I, on the other hand, do not, and i don’t see any possible happy ending for them :( please prove me wrong? spashley’s no fun when they end up dead or not together haha. and of course predictable isn’t fun. that’s why your story IS fun. :]

    4. Oh God! I hate Spencer’s lying…but I love it too. How is that possible? I’m in such a state of confusion, and cj4eva is right. It all is gonna come back and bite her squarely in the ass. How I want to see that, I mean Don’t…I mean. Yes, no, yes, no, yes…I absolutely hate you for putting me in this position. Wait, I love you for it…God! Make the annoyong voices shut up, make them stop. I need to make up my mind. Maybe by your next post I’ll have it all sorted out.

    5. okay, so i miraculously came out of a coma when I saw the update posted. Whew! Luck of the Irish, eh? Anyway, i loved it. Aaannnddd, i can’t gaurauntee another coma, but If you don’t write more soon, then I’ll most likely be mad sad.

    6. why do i feel spencers optimism is sooo gonna bite her in the ass….anyway amazing update as they’ve all been …plzzzzz pms…and i read this one sober im proud of myself …lol..pms!!!!

    7. God, I love this fic. Your unabashed creation of characters out of everything from guilt to a piece of paper to a pig shaped cookie is delightful. I particularly liked the Spencer’s worrying over the potential Wonderland affects of her pig cookie. This is one of the few stories that actually makes me laugh out loud at witty comments. And I’m doubley thrilled because I know you write angst well, too. Seriously, your writing is flawless. Keep updating fast! Please! My life depends on it!

    8. nooo! listen to guilt! at least she can dig herself out before she’s entirely burried. i’m pretty sure right now she can still see a little above ground. i hope? aldkfj. apparently, you know where you’re going with this. I, on the other hand, do not, and i don’t see any possible happy ending for them :( please prove me wrong? spashley’s no fun when they end up dead or not together haha. and of course predictable isn’t fun. that’s why your story IS fun. :]

    9. Oh God! I hate Spencer’s lying…but I love it too. How is that possible? I’m in such a state of confusion, and cj4eva is right. It all is gonna come back and bite her squarely in the ass. How I want to see that, I mean Don’t…I mean. Yes, no, yes, no, yes…I absolutely hate you for putting me in this position. Wait, I love you for it…God! Make the annoyong voices shut up, make them stop. I need to make up my mind. Maybe by your next post I’ll have it all sorted out.

    10. okay, so i miraculously came out of a coma when I saw the update posted. Whew! Luck of the Irish, eh? Anyway, i loved it. Aaannnddd, i can’t gaurauntee another coma, but If you don’t write more soon, then I’ll most likely be mad sad.

    11. wow i finally caught up with the story and it’s simply amazing!! totally unique and original. but i hate being in spencer’s shoes. like how can she ignore everything that happened and get to know ashley? where’s all her anger? hmmm… and how can ash forgets someone like spencer?? oooh can’t wait for your next one. go go go!!

    12. wow i finally caught up with the story and it’s simply amazing!! totally unique and original. but i hate being in spencer’s shoes. like how can she ignore everything that happened and get to know ashley? where’s all her anger? hmmm… and how can ash forgets someone like spencer?? oooh can’t wait for your next one. go go go!!

    13. Oh Oh Oh (to touch and feel… sorry, the oh oh oh was the first thing I thought, and it’s the start of a mnemonic I learnt to remember the cranial nerves… after the word ‘feel’ it gets dirty). It was good! It was so good! But but but. What happens with the fallout? I’m so scared of the fallout! I’m building a nuclear shelter just so that I won’t DIE from the fallout. This story actually makes me wriggle with discomfort because i KNOW what’s coming. It can’t possibly be pretty. You’re writing is spectacular, as per usual. One request? can we have the paper and stapler couple back… I got kinda fond of them.

    14. Oh Oh Oh (to touch and feel… sorry, the oh oh oh was the first thing I thought, and it’s the start of a mnemonic I learnt to remember the cranial nerves… after the word ‘feel’ it gets dirty). It was good! It was so good! But but but. What happens with the fallout? I’m so scared of the fallout! I’m building a nuclear shelter just so that I won’t DIE from the fallout. This story actually makes me wriggle with discomfort because i KNOW what’s coming. It can’t possibly be pretty. You’re writing is spectacular, as per usual. One request? can we have the paper and stapler couple back… I got kinda fond of them.

    15. I feel so sorry for Spencer for having to lie about herself and everything else in her life. I don’t think this will come back to haunt her. She’ll just look like a big fucking liar. I’m really lovin’ this story.

    16. I feel so sorry for Spencer for having to lie about herself and everything else in her life. I don’t think this will come back to haunt her. She’ll just look like a big fucking liar. I’m really lovin’ this story.

    17. the longer spence goes on with that terrible lie the worse it is going to be in the end! but i must say i do understand her nervousness, it seems like something i would do! people are strangeshe just really needs to tell ashley… nevermind. thatd be very awkward. thanks, ash, for kicking her out!

    18. the longer spence goes on with that terrible lie the worse it is going to be in the end! but i must say i do understand her nervousness, it seems like something i would do! people are strangeshe just really needs to tell ashley… nevermind. thatd be very awkward. thanks, ash, for kicking her out!

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