Chapter Three

My eyes shot open when I heard the cabinet door being slammed shut. It took me a while to realize where I was and to recall the events from last night. Roughly, I rub my eye, making an attempt to wake myself. I have a pounding headache and my neck is killing me. I really do dislike sleeping on the couch.

I don’t lift my head up because I know that Spencer is in the kitchen. I am definatly not prepared to face my wife at this time. I allow my head to fall deeper into the pillow and I must have fallen asleep by accident because I wake up hours later. The last thing I remember are my thoughts about Spencer.

"Just sleep all day, Ash, that’s great!"

A groan slips out and I pull my lazy body up as quickly as possible. My gaze shifts, trying to locate her. I didnt prepare anything to say like I was suppose to, so I guess I’ll just say whatever comes to mind, even though that method hasnt really worked in the past. Yet, its all I got right now.

"Look, Spencer," I begin as I make my way towards the dissapointed girl, "I…I…I’m really…."

For some reason the apology wasnt coming out like I had hoped. I blame it on the fact that shes giving me that dirty look. Blue eyes tell me everything. They tell me that Im an asshole and that no amounts of saying sorry is going to cut it. They tell me that pretty soon, Spencer will realize she can get so much better.

I dont remember when, or how, or why everything started. We we happy at one point, honest. Yet, somewhere along the way, I took a wrong turn and I dragged my love down with me. I wish so badly that I knew the right words to say, something that can erase everything I’ve done.

But a feeling in my gut tells me there arent any.

"I dont have time for this."

"Look," I plead, blocking her pathway, "Spencer, I dont know what came over me, I swear. I’m so sorry."

I’m doing my best to read her face, her expressions. Theres some angst, but I believe there is also a little forgiveness shining through. My fingers find their way to her soft face and begin caressing. I dont want to do anything drastic or fast, in fears of it scaring her away.