I spent my entire sixth grade year falling harder every day. Her scent had to be potent, because I couldn’t seem to get enough. She was not only gorgeous, but something about her just infatuated me. I couldn’t tell you if it was the way she walked, the way her smile seemed to kill the darkness itself, or if maybe it was just her in general. Either way my addiction grew and grew with every single day. I couldn’t stop if I tried, by now, I was in over my head.

After the sixth grade, I’d managed to get close to her somehow, and every year after that she would always be my best friend. Yeah, my best friend. But I always wanted more, I just could never figure out what the hell it was that I wanted so fucken badly, not until I finally admitted it to myself at least. Even before I admitted to myself though, I still day dreamed about her all the time. You think I would have figured it out sooner, but I didn’t.

When puberty finally hit, guys matured. Ok, that’s a total lie. I swear that, that is just a myth, because it seems like just the opposite. Now they had nothing interesting to say at all. All they ever seemed to talk or care about, were girls. But hey I guess I can’t blame them. It’s not like my thoughts are any different, but at least my intentions weren‘t the same right? I mean they just wanted sex, and well, I just wanted her.

She was the only thought worth mentioning that was ever going through my mind. The way her hair swayed when she walked, her ocean deep spell binding blue eyes, her golden brown legs, I couldn’t help but stare at times. But with the hormones and high level of testosterone in the males, and in turn relationships soon followed, which was something that I didn’t want any part of. The only relationship I wanted wasn’t going to happen. I mean who was I kidding? We were total fucking opposites. She could go on to be Americas Next Top Model and I was going to be Americas most wanted. Ok, so that’s a little over the top, but what am I suppose to believe? Hope died, that is if it was ever really alive at all. Deep down, I knew from day one that there was absolutely no hope, so then why does this hurt so much?