That night i sat up thinking.  i tried sorting through all of the thougts but i couldn’t.  I don’t know what went through her mind ever. I didn’t know how she responded to what I said. Truth is, she was probably disgusted. But can I really blame her? I mean me or Casey, it was never a choice. By now all I wanted was to just keep my distance from her.

I thought it’d be easy. I thought that’s what she would want to, but I’m not so sure anymore…

The next day when I went back to school, she was waiting for me at my locker like a vulture waiting for its prey.

“Spenc…” was all I was able to get out, before she wrapped me into her arms. If I hadn’t mentioned it before, when she makes any sort of contact with me, my brain dies. All reasoning goes to hell and I’m hers. I could feel brain cells die as I melted under her touch. Then she started talking as if nothing had ever happened yesterday. I looked around wondering if I was in the fucking twilight zone or something.

“Spencer,” I interrupted her. “What?” It was all I could ask. Part of me begged please don’t make this so hard. The other part was screaming that she was just talking to me. I’m a sucker for her.

“I’m sorry Ash. You’re right. I shouldn’t ditch you so much,” she stated like it was going to make everything go away. It didn’t, but I wanted it to. I wanted it to magically fix everything. And even though I knew it didn’t, I couldn’t help but relapse into her, my drug.

“Spencer about what I said right before I left…” I couldn’t resist. I had to know.

“Don’t worry about it Ash,” was all she said. What does that mean? Is it some sort of cryptic message? Damnit I don’t speak Spanish. Then just like that, the conversation was over. My worry raised. I wanted to know. Hell, I needed to know. I mean, I love her..

When lunch came, she made me sit with her at our old table. Looking over at Aiden, he just looked at me confused. Shaking my head and shrugging shoulders, I tried to signal my own confusion. In response he just shook his head disapprovingly and went back to eating his lunch.