Jessica pulled her arm away from the warmth of Spencer’s hands. “You weren’t supposed to know about this.” Jessica said finally steadying her breathing.

“Jessi…” Spencer whispered putting her hands on Jessica’s cheeks. “Jessi, look at me.”  She kept her face down, embarrassed by what had happened.

“Why did you do this to yourself? Why because of me?”

Jessica stood up moving away from the comfort of her friend. She knew she wanted her, she knew that she had hurt Spencer by not explaining things to her, but she didn’t know how to apologize. So she did what she was good at, ignoring it.

“Spence, it’s nothing.” 

Spencer stood up grabbing her hand. “You can’t just run away like this.” She laced her fingers around Jessica’s squeezing it tightly.

“No really, just leave it. You weren’t even supposed to see it.” Jessica said finally letting go of her hand. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve and grabbed her books.

“You can’t leave like this.”

“I can, and I will.”

–

“I don’t know, what’s wrong with her. I mean it just came out of nowhere.”

“Well, you did see a lot of things that happened to her.”

“Yeah, I mean that should at least make me someone she’ll turn to.”

Spencer sat down on the edge of her bed holding her cell phone to her ear. It was night and the house was dark and that’s how she liked it. No one to bother her, no one to talk to her, and all the sounds that she heard were coming from Ashley on the other line.

“Seriously, it’s so confusing now.”

“Maybe, you should just let her breathe. I guess she just wants to be alone.”

“You know I can’t do that, Ash.”

“Just try.”

Spencer sighed frustrated moving her head from side to side while massaging her neck. All this Jessica talk was getting her really tired.

“Enough about, Jessica, what are you doing?”

“Thinking about her.”

“Spencer, she’ll be fine, just let it go.”

“But, Ash she needs up right now.”

“I know you think everyone needs help, but some really just want to be alone. You should really focus to what’s in front of you, like me.”

Spencer sighed again, “Well I’m not doing much. I’m just trying to finish my Cornell notes for English.”

“Oh dang it, I totally forgot about that.”

Just then Spencer heard the bell ring. Perfect, she had to get up and make her way down the flight of stairs. Who comes to people’s houses during the evening? “Someone’s at the door.” Spencer got up and walked downstairs.

“Maybe it’s some rapist.”

“Shut up, Ashley! You’re making me scared now.”

Spencer reached in front of her gripping her hand around the doorknob and opened it.

“I love you, Spencer.”

Spencer’s hand released her phone dropping it on the floor. She slowly walked closer to the girl silently controlling her breathing. The girl leaned it pressing her lips softly on to Spencer’s. Spencer pulled back looking at her. “I just can’t, it’s not right.” Spencer shook her head stepping back into her house and closed the door. The girl stuck out her hand stopping her. “I know you want me, just tell me you want me too.”

“I don’t love you, Jessica, I love Ashley.” Spencer whispered.

Ashley on the other line had heard her friend’s confession and smiled.