I’m laying in bed trying to figure out everything that is going on in my life at the moment.  Let’s see I have Tom being all creepy and all about me, Ashley wants me one second then doesn’t know me the next, no soccer, failing sort of, and all I do is drink my life away.  Wow I have become a piece of shit when you really lay it our there.  Ashley has been texting me wanting to see me and so has Tom.  I have ignored them both.  I don’t know what direction to go.  There’s a knock at my door and surprise surprise its Ashley.

"Hey"

"Hey" I say not even bother looking at her

"Soooo you ignoreing me now?"

"No just don’t feel like messing with my phone I haven’t texted anyone back"

"Um alright, Do you want to get something to eat?"

"Naw I’m alright"

"Whats wrong with you"

"Whats wrong with me? Really you don’t know? I’m tired of your games."

"I don’t mean to I’m just going through some things"

"Well talk to me then. When have you not been able to"

"I know I can, I better go we are leaving tonight for another trip I have to go pack"

"Have fun bye."

"Bye"

So pretty much that was a waste of a trip for her to even come over.  I don’t know why she won’t talk to me, she hasn’t had a problem yet.  I can’t handle it anymore, I’m over her.

I’ve decided to stay home and just relax watching tv I don’t have work or plans with anyone.  It will be nice to just relax and have time to myself.  I’m getting ready to fall alseep and I hear a text.

[hey u up]

I’m surprised Ashley is texting me.

[yeah whats up? u alright?]

[yeah]

[ok thats good…]

[im really sorry for the way i have been 2 u. u did nothing wrong]

[so whats going on then]

[its just everything]

[like]

[i dont think im a good gf]

[um ok y do u think that]

[look at my past im w someone b4 i break up w some1 else. aiden is always suspcious of me. he just doesnt understand]

[mayb ur w the wrong the person mayb u should b w some1 that understands u better]

[yeah mayb]

[ull find that person that doesnt care abt that stuff]

[i got a ?]

[alright shoot]

[do u think we could go on a date when i get back]

Oh my god oh my god oh my god did she just really ask me that?!  

[seriously?]

[yeah i mean if u dont want to i understand]

Wow maybe she does care about me and want something to do with me!

[no def we can do that. what u have in mind]

[idk dinner and a movie?]

[do u want to go out to dinner or have me make u something at ur apt] alright I want her to say her apartment because it would be nice to have some alone time with her.

[we can just go out somewhere or if u want to cook u can but u don’t have too]

[no i want 2 i like 2 cook then we can spend some time 2gether]

[i have something 2 tell u i know u wont judge me]

[what is it]

[i already know]

[?]

[iv been seeing some1]

What the fuck is she really saying this to me right after she asked to go on a date.

[which one]

Madison was telling me that Ashley had something going on with the sports information guy but I took that lightly and Ashley is always talking about the softball coach and how much they spend time together.  It has to be one or the other has to be.  But they are both married with children.

[both]

And with that text my heart just sunk