I Want You Back

It’s hard to say I’m sorry. It’s hard to make the things I did undone. A lesson I’ve learned too well, for sure. So don’t hang up the phone now, I’m tryin to figure out just what to do. I’m goin crazy without you. You’re all I ever wanted. You’re all I ever needed, so tell me what to do now, when I want you back.

What the hell? Why am I thinking about N’Sync at a time like this? Oh…wait…because that’s what I’m going to be saying to Spencer if I absolutely have to. If she even shows up that is…

I managed to get Chelsea to help me out, thank god. She was pretty much my last resort.

“Chelsea thank you so, so, so, so, SO much! Oh my god, you have no idea how much this means. Seriously, if you ever need ANYTHING just ask and it’s yours!”

“Ash, calm down. Breathe with me now, in and out.”

“Ok, sorry…it’s just…I screwed up MAJORLY with Spencer and you’re pretty much my only hope of getting her here tonight. Ugh how could I have made such a big mess Chels?”

“Ash it’s ok, really. You made a mess yes, but you’re trying to make it right. That’s what counts. I just need to tell you now though, that if and when you and Spencer get back together you need to be more aware of what’s going on in your head and in your heart. You need to talk to her about stuff ok? Don’t just let things sit inside and end up in an even worse mess than this. I know it’s hard for you to open up, but this is Spencer we’re talking about. You know you can trust her and you know she’ll do what she can to help.”

“I know…I know…I’m just really scared.”

“Why?”

“What if she doesn’t love me anymore? What if she’s moved on? What if this time I lost everything?”

“Stop playing the ‘What if’ game girl! You’re psyching yourself out that way. I know for a fact she still loves you. She told me…but I wasn’t supposed to say anything. She misses you like crazy.”

“I miss her too…I need her in my life and I refuse to let her go without a fight.”