Perfect World

I can’t believe she did it. She actually gave up Spencer to be with Aiden. I guess I kinda jinxed myself with that whole “Why don’t they just get back together and put us all out of our misery?” thing. Bad move Kyla. BAD move.

Though I guess I can’t really blame it all on Ashley. It’s pretty much Aiden’s fault. All of it. Bastard. Ugh…and yet he’s not. I know I should just totally get over these feelings I have for him…but I can’t, because you can’t help who you love. That’s your hearts job. And my heart decided that I was going to fall, fast and hard, for one Mr. Aiden Dennison. Boo. Way to screw me over heart. Where the hell’s a Big Mac? I’m going to clog my arteries good to get back at it.

Ok this crappy music on the radio is totally not helping my mood either. Effing Simple Plan. Stupid song that is totally my life right now. GAH!

In a perfect world, this could never happen. In a perfect world, you’d still be here. And it makes no sense; I could just pick up the pieces. But to you, this means nothing, nothing at all.

I haven’t spoken to Ash or Aiden since they got back together. Let me tell you, not talking to someone you live with, someone you see on a daily basis, someone you were just starting to be on good terms with, for a month is hard work. I tried so hard to put all the blame on Ashley too. Just so I could take out my anger. But I couldn’t do it. I can’t do it, because she’s my sister. And I love her. Even if she makes a mistake that screws up lives of people she cares about…I still love her.

She just came in my room. Her face looked so sad, but I kept up my ‘I’m so pissed at you, what the hell are you even doing in here’ façade.

“What do you want Ashley?”

“I’m sorry…”

“For what? It’s not like you led Spencer on for all those months, lied to her and me about how you felt for Aiden, and screwed up our lives and relationships or anything. Oh! But wait…you did.”