There is really nothing you must be.  And there is nothing you must do.  There is really nothing you must have.  And there is nothing you must know.  There is really nothing you must become.  However it helps to understand that fire burns, and when it rains the earth gets wet… "Whatever, there are consequences.  Nobody is exempt," said the Master.

Robert Fulghum (1937 – )

Source: It Was On Fire When I Lay Down On It, Page: 196

A simple day.

The distorted mumbling of a television in a close room.

The occasional exclamation from my child followed by overzealous straw sipping and the gentle creaking of a miniature rocking chair on old hardwood.

The sound of a loud conversation about paint sneaking in through a window.

A simple day.

The absence of Rebecca’s hard footsteps, scraping towards me like a familiar demon.

The absence of a sequence of jarring telephone beckoning with an accusatory voice attached to the other end.

A rare moment to sip an average cup of glorious tea and a few long seconds to breathe in its healing vapors.

A simple, extraordinary day. The calm before more calm before her storm.

I had seen her before this day. In fact, I saw her everywhere. In sad blondes lingering over late lunches at the café down the block, joggers running close behind in the park early in the morning while my daughter slept at home, the shadows standing in the bathroom seen only through a mirror powdered with condensation.

There was a strange disappointment after every realization. But as I wiped her away with my hand and stared at my empty reflection, I also felt relief. Before my sister stopped returning my calls, we would talk about it often. This blending of disappointment and relief. Kyla needed an ending.

I needed a beginning.

I drank my tea slowly and lazily flipped catalog pages as Maggie watched and rocked in the next room. A cool breeze scattered my hair, sending a chill where every strand fell. A stranger of nature rustling it playfully and walking away like an affectionate lover or a comfortable parent.

The house was nice. Ceilings that seemed very far away, strong mahogany furniture in every room minus the kitchen, appliances that obviously had never seen use before my arrival. But it was all very temporary.