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The Assassination of Trust – (Chapter: Lie and Forget…)
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“You’re a prostitute. Is that a beautiful life?”
“I chose it.”
“Answer the question.”
“I chose it, Ash. Yes, it’s a beautiful life. I had choices. That’s fucking beautiful!” she says, throwing her arms around me, “a life of choices…what could be better than that, huh? What could be better?”
“You don’t choose everything that happens to you. Trust me.”
Remember.
“Fine. Then all the more reason to really enjoy the parts that I do get to choose.”
I nod, because I want her to stop talking. Her words are acidic in the self-inflicted wounds that make me who I am. Rebecca is the salve that holds me together. She is like me. We are both suffering from our misplaced fates and destructive impulses.
“Ash, are you okay? I hate when you get like this…all ‘woe is me.’ It scares me for you.”
And she’ll never understand.
“I’m fine.”
“Look at me,” she says, gently nudging my face so that our eyes are locked, “I care about you. I care about what’s going on with you and I promise…I promise, you can tell me anything. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. You can trust me.”
“No.”
“No?”
“Spencer…”
“You’re not alone, Ashley. You’re not alone…you’re not alone…”
She repeats it over and over as she holds me, and we slowly rock back and forth. I am reduced to an infant.
Forget to remember.
“I have to tell you something.”
“What?”
She stares back at me with so much hope and anticipation and I realize very quickly that I’m not the only child here. Maybe we are more alike than I’d like to believe and it’s dangerous to us both.
“I…me and someone else, we…” I stutter.
“You can tell me anything.”
“This has all been a…you and I, we’re…”
I can’t. I can’t say it. I can’t free her with the truth. I need her too much and the words would send her running. I’ll take her as long as I can have her in any way I can.
“Just say it.”
I kiss her instead, feeling warmth and sincerity everywhere she touches me. And when I finally pull away, I almost forget.
“I do trust you.”
“You do?”
“I do.”
I forget to lie.
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Can I just say that you are so badass. You’re such an amazing writer and SON could be over for years and I’d still read whatever you write. Awesome, as always! pms
Whoa! First comment from the now mighty Stix!… I can tell a good story when it sticks in my mind and I don’t have to re-read previous chapters to refresh my memory. Your stories head this catergory and are so deep(especially this one!) with their layers and with all the twists and turns in your plots I’m always left gasping for just that little bit more information at the end of each chapter….I’m really, really curious as to how this ones going to end…happy ending??…have you even decided yet?? Can’t wait to find out!!
yah i have to agree with littledragonfly :) i dont have to reread it to remeber the last chapters and stuff like i do with someother stories the name just stands out itself lol :) anyways i left a comment on the other site so ill say again great job and pms please :)
I’m totally with stix. SON will never die. wow this chap revealed a lot. absolutely amazing how deep you get with the character structure and everything. can’t wait for the next update!
I’m 300% with everything my fanfic addicts stated above :)this update was very insightful. seriously!PMS plz
That was actually a little…sweet. Yes, it had its dark element as well of course. Anyway…long live SoN!
Bloody brilliant mate…I could go on and on, but I won’t cheapen my admiration of your writing with mere words. I agree with everyone else, this show was great and they they sucked it up by what they did, but your writing will keep what it should’ve been alive. Cheers mate…