“Nothing is going to change. I’m still going to do whatever it takes to get my daughter back.”

“Is that so?”

“Of course.”

“Falling for her wasn’t apart of the plan.”

“Aiden…”

“No…no! Listen to me, Ashley. This isn’t a good idea. She isn’t a good idea. And what about me? Have you thought about the fact that you’re supposed to be mine?”

“Have I thought about it?”

“Did the question confuse you?”

“I need you to stop being so possessive. You’re going to ruin everything. And she’ll know, Aiden. I promise she’ll know because she’s not stupid, ok? She’s not completely fucking stupid.”

“She seems pretty fucking stupid to me. If she believes you actually love her then she’s an idiot. A fool. Just like me.”

She smiles, shaking her head at me. I feel a wave of shame running through every possible part of me. It quickly turns to anger.

But not towards her.

I could never be angry at her. As I said, I was on my knees at the mere thought of Ashley Davies.

“Aiden, go home to your wife. Get some rest. We can talk this into the ground later. But tonight? Tonight I just want to sleep.”

“I can stay.”

“You should go, though.”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t need her getting suspicious. That’s all.”

“She’s already suspicious.”

“Then I don’t need her getting more suspicious, do I?”

My wife was a mysterious, troubled woman. Initially, it was what attracted me to her. I wanted someone to take care of. Someone to save. I wanted to project and deflect and fix. But there was nothing, no one that could save Rebecca.

Not even the medication.

It took someone better, stronger than myself. It took a patience I wasn’t equipped with, a stability I was too reckless to crave, a wanting that marriage had rendered impossible.

“No. No one needs that.”

“Exactly.”

I sighed, overwhelmed by how quickly everything could change, “Tell me you still love me.”

“You know I do.”

“Just say it.”

She was used to dealing with my insecurities. Always ready to become the strange parent to one of my strange episodes.

“I love you. Now, go home.”

“Do you love her?”

“Goodnight.”

I wanted to cry, guilt her, put up a fight, scream. Whatever it took to force the truth. But desperation simply fueled my angry at a greedy, stupid blonde.

I wanted everything that Ashley wanted.

I wanted everything that kept me from having her all to myself.

I wanted it all.

“Goodnight,” I said with a smile, meekly walking towards the door, “I love you too.”

And I stood outside her door for a long time before ascending the steps. But as I did, I could already feel the heat of embarrassment settling on the back of my neck. How dare she take Ashley from me.

How dare she.

“Ashley,” she whispered, as I swung the door wide open.

I was building the strength to be so weak.

“Not so much,” I said, managing a smile through the incredible anger.

“Oh, Aiden…hi.”

“Disappointed?”

“No, I just…”

“Well, I’m disappointed too,” I say, pushing past her and into the cold, open room, “I’m very, very disappointed.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

She wasn’t sorry.

“Are you?” I ask, shaking my head.

“Sure.”

“Well, that’s good. That’s really good.”

“I have an early morning, ok? So maybe I should go back to bed.”

“In just a second,” I said, clinching my fists as she played cordial.

“Um…ok.”

“I talked to Ashley. But hey, I’m sure you know that already, right?”

“She mentioned that she was…”

I’m sure she did.

“And she informed me that you two are together. Which is just fucking great. I mean, really great.”

“Thanks.”

“But it’s interesting, you know? Because I’m sure you know that she and I were a thing.”

“A thing?”

“Yeah, we were fucking.”

Seeing her uncomfortable restored so much power.

 “Aiden…”

“I don’t usually do that, Spencer. I don’t usually fuck my girls. But she’s special. I’m sure you agree.”

“She’s amazing.”

And that was what made up my mind. Seeing the look on her face.

The sincerity there.

I was jealous of a whore, and in love with another.