Spencer stared at her own reflection in the mirror, placing her hands on either side of the basin. “That’s nothing for you to worry about, Ashley. I’m sure your sister could use some consoling. Or better yet, I’m sure Aiden would love some of your concern.”

“Jesus, Spencer! I’m just trying to make sure you’re okay. Do you really think this is a good time to fucking bite my head off?”

Spencer’s eyes were still focused on the mirror as she whispered, “It’s my fault.”

Ashley couldn’t believe that Spencer had actually just uttered what she did.

“Spencer, what did you just say?”

The previously whispered statement was now screamed as Spencer turned around to face Ashley, “I said it was my fucking fault!”

Spencer’s tone and her use of a cuss threw Ashley for a loop. Her words were confused when she spoke,” What… How can…”

Before she could get a full thought out, Spencer began again, “It’s my fault he’s dead!” She fell to the floor in front of the sinks. “I was so preoccupied with everything else, while he was dying. I was thinking about myself, about how miserable I was about our relationship, about my own pain. All the while, my brother was losing his life. He had so much to live for. He was driven, smart, handsome… He was going to be a father. I should have been thinking about him, praying for him, focusing on him, instead of on myself.” Spencer’s face fell into her hands and Ashley could hear that the tears were finally leaving the blonde’s eyes. “And my selfish, family-destroying self is still here.” Sobs interrupted her last sentence, but Ashley understood every word that had come from her mouth.

Ashley had no idea how to respond to that. She knew it wasn’t Spencer’s fault that Clay was dead. It was some gang banger who decided to solve his problems with bullets that killed Clay, not the blonde who sat sobbing in the hospital bathroom. Any of them could have been killed by that maniac. Hell, Spencer was very nearly shot. All of these thoughts ran through Ashley’s head, but she verbalized none of them. Instead, she sat down next to Spencer, as her sobs began to get louder. She watched the woman she loved break completely and shatter into a million pieces.

—————————

About ten minutes after sitting down, Spencer was still sobbing. Ashley knew she needed to do something. Finally, after agonizing over it for nearly the full ten minutes, she placed her hand on Spencer’s back and began to rub. Immediately, Spencer shot up from the ground, hurriedly wiping her eyes with the backs of both hands.

“You should go, Ashley.”

Ashley slowly stood up from her seat on the bathroom floor. “Spence, I’m not leaving you here.”

“Just go! You had no trouble leaving before!”

Even Spencer was surprised at what she had said, but she quickly recovered, whispering, “Just please leave.”

Ashley turned around and walked toward the bathroom door. She grabbed the metal handle and pulled open the heavy wooden door. She was nearly out of the door when she heard Spencer’s sobbing begin again. Before she really knew what she was doing, she had turned around and walked back to Spencer, pulling her into a tight embrace.

Spencer was completely caught by surprise, but soon began to protest, “Ashley, let me go.” She tried to push her away. “Please, just leave.” She began to pound on Ashley’s back. “Just go!”

Ashley held tighter to the girl in front of her. “I won’t.”

Spencer continued to fight and scream for another half minute before her screaming turned into sobs and she relaxed into Ashley’s arms.

With a sobbing Spencer in her arms, Ashley repeatedly whispered, her head resting next to the blonde’s ear, “I’m sorry, Spencer. I love you. I’m sorry, Spencer. I love you. I’m sorry, Spencer…”