The formerly empty cafeteria was full of life as Spencer sat once again on the metal table on the patio. Inside, doctors and nurses rushed in, desperate for a caffeine boost before they began their shifts. Outside, windows separating her from the morning rush, Spencer sat, focusing on the sun rise in front of her. Her sleep-deprived mind was filled with a hopeless confusion. She saw no solution. She needed a hand, some advice, a distraction, but the only person she wanted to distract her acted as a source of more confusion, a less hopeless confusion, but a painful one just the same.

            The cafeteria door slamming brought Spencer out of her thoughts, at least for a moment. She looked in the direction of the sound and found a young man in scrubs walking toward her.

“Hey,” he said sitting at the table next to her and lighting a cigarette. “Gotta get one more in before work. D’you mind?”

“No, it’s fine,” Spencer replied , barely recognizing her own voice.

The silence returned for a short time, until the man spoke again, “You want one?” He held out the pack to a perplexed Spencer.

            Spencer had never smoked. Well, she had taken a puff at a party when she was 14, but that was the extent of her experience with cigarettes. Growing up with a mother who was a doctor had made her very aware of the evils of smoking. They were carcinogenic, life-shortening, a nasty habit…

“Sure.” She took the white stick and the lighter from him, awkwardly lighting up. She took her first drag, handing the lighter back to the man. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” he placed the lighter atop the pack of cigarettes. “I’m Kirk.” Spencer didn’t respond, so he prompted, “And you are?”

“Oh, yeah.” She took another long drag from the cigarette, “I’m Spencer.”

“You must be from the prom shooting?”

            Spencer had to think. She tried to formulate a response, but the words weren’t coming. She settled for a nod.

“I saw the story on the news. Looked like it was horrible, practically resembled a war zone.” No response. “So many young lives lost.”

            Spencer knew she was supposed to say something to that. Hell, her brother was one of those lost lives. Instead, she took another drag, holding the smoke in until it burned.