“Whew!” Henry let out a big sigh as he let his head fall back against the pillow. “Now that was an interesting weekend!”

Rolling over onto his side, he reached out and ran the back of his fingers down Tinas cheek. “Is it always like that?”

Tina buried the twinge of annoyance she felt, and instead, turned and gave Henry a confused look. “Always like what?” She asked, not wanting to fight, but she couldnt help but feel just how judgmental that question was, intentional or not.

“Youre kidding right?” Shaking his head, Henry looked at Tina with disbelief. “Is it always so crazy…always so much drama? Bettes stupid stunt aside…whats her name…Shane…got everyone up there, and then doesnt even have the decency to show up for the ceremony…wedding…whatever!?” He mumbled the last word.

“Henry…”

Raising himself up on one elbow, Henry wasnt ready to let it go. “No really, I have never seen so many women up in each others business. Didnt you get tired of that?”

Seeing Tina narrow her eyes, he jumped in quickly, trying to dispel her anger. “Hey, I told you before I dont have a problem with how you led your life before, but I dont understand how someone like you, could really be happy with all that…..drama.”

Reaching out, he gently caressed his thumb over Tinas nipple…smiling with smugness when he felt it harden. “Youre better than all that. You deserve to have a real family, not some sudo family that you have to hide from most of society.” Continuing to rub the now rock hard nipple, he leaned in to nuzzle Tinas neck, right behind her ear, not seeing her eyes fill with tears in reaction to his last comment.

“I want to be the one…the guy who gives it all to you.” Hesitating for a quick moment, he then added, “And Angelica too. I can be the father that she wouldnt otherwise have. I can legally give her my name, so she is fully part of a family.”

Tina reached up and placed her hand over Henrys, stilling his thumb. “Stop”

She turned over onto her side so she could look Henry directly in the eye. “Those women may seem crazy to you, but they are my friends, and I love them. And, it may seem like there is a lot of drama, but that is because these women care for each other so much…they are a family.”

“Family?” Henry interrupted. “Tina, I get it that they are really close friends…I do…but I dont see how you can qualify that as the same as a family family…..a blood family. Dont get me wrong, I love my friends too, but I dont consider them my FAMILY.”

Tina rolled her eyes at this ignorant response. “Thats because you have no idea what gays and lesbians go through when they come out. How they are treated by their so called “blood families.” So many are kicked out of the house as teenagers, left to fend for themselves. Or, even if they wait until they are older to come out, many times they are told not to bother to come to family functions, and if they do go, their partners are not invited. And, those lucky enough to be able to bring their partners are always looked on as not quite as good as…that their relationship doesnt mean as much, or isnt as important as the straight siblings marriage. The friendships they create within their community are different than the friendships you have. In a lot of cases, these friends are the only family they have. We all need that kind of love Henry. We all need to know that someone will be there for us no matter what, and thats what they give to each other…and what they give to me.”

Taking a deep breath, Tina looked at him. She was tired…tired of having this conversation, and if she looked deep enough (which was not very deep), knew that it was because of conversations like this that had made her ache for a “normal, easy, everyday family life” in the first place. But, then again, thoughts like that just made her feel guilty, and a bit like a sell out, especially after listening to some of Henrys comments, and realizing that there really is no such thing as easy…normal.

“You want to talk about blood families? Do you know that my family hasnt spoken to me since I started dating Bette? They have missed eight years of my life, including the birth of their first grandchild.”

“Yes, but that will change now,” Henry said interrupting again, proud of what he thinks he can bring into Tinas life. “Now they will want to see you again…and isnt that a good thing? Angelica will be able to know her grandparents. And, my parents will love her too. They wont care what color she is.”

Tina turned and flopped back down against her pillow, once again tears filling her eyes. Letting out a deep sigh, she said, “Jesus Henry, you sound like you are my savior! Now that I am with you, my child will have a REAL family with a name… and my own family will magically love me again! Like somehow I needed saving!! Jesus!”

“Im sorry Tina…I didnt mean to…”

“What am I doing?” Tina interrupted Henry, not looking directly at him. God…what am I fucking doing? She repeated the question in her mind…knowing that neither Henry, or her mind would be able to give her an answer.

Seeing the change in Tinas demeanor, Henry tried to lighten the mood. “Youre laying in bed with your handsome boyfriend whos getting ready to ravish your beautiful body.” Giving her his best “I know you want me” smile, he ran his finger tips up her right thigh, before resting his hand on her stomach.

“You know what hurts?” Tina asked in a soft voice.

“What?” Henry responded, wanting to console the beautiful blonde he knew he was falling for.

“It hurts me that you think it is more important that you are Angelicas legal father than it is that I am Mickeys legal mother.”

“What do you mean?” He looked at Tina with confusion. That was not even close to what he thought she was going to say.

” If we get married, would I ever get to legally adopt Mickey?”

“You know the answer to that Tina. Shannon is Mickeys mother…his biological mother, so no. But, you would be his step-mother, and you know how important that role will be in his life.”

“But, thats my point Henry. Just like I cant adopt Mickey, neither will you be able to adopt Angelica. Bette is just as much her mother as I am. But, if we do get married…and that is still a long way off…you would be Angelicas step-father, which like you said, is a very important role. But it seems to me, not being able to adopt Angelica isnt good enough for you…yet on the other hand, not being able to adopt Mickey has to be for me…and knowing you feel that way hurts”

“But if I dont adopt her, I wont be able to give her my name. She will have a different last name than the rest of us.”

“Henry…Angelica already has a name…a very good name. MY name. Even if we got married, I would keep my name, so she and I will share that.”

“You dont want to take my last name?”

“Jesus Henry,” Tina rolled her eyes at him in disbelief. “First of all, we are getting way ahead of ourselves here. Second, you act like you have never heard of a blended family before with parents and step parents, and some of the family with different names than the others. You live in LA for Gods sake!!” Tina let out a deep sigh. “If I marry I will keep my last name. I want Angelica and I to have the same name. Besides, I happen to like my last name. Even though my parents are not talking to me, I am proud to have the Kennard name, and I am proud that Angelica carries it too.”

“Well, if Bette adopts her she will want Angelica to have her name.” Henry said with exasperation. “Shes so controlling, I dont doubt that she would demand it!”

“Right…” Tina looked at him, rolling her eyes again. “This coming from the man who just wanted us ALL to take his last name. Im sorry, whos the controlling one?”

Tina watched as Henry furrowed his brows and pursed his lips in a scowl. “Just so you know,” she said softly, feeling like maybe she was being a little tough on him, but needing him to know the truth. “Angelica already has Bettes name. Angelica Katherine Porter Kennard. We decided to give Angelica two middle names, rather than hyphenate her last name.”

Tina was right about Henry wanting she and Angelica to have his name, but he didnt want to admit it out loud. He was raised in a world where the woman took her husbands name when they married, and did so with pride. Shannon didnt even question taking his name when they got married, and continued to keep it after they got divorced so she would have the same last name as Mickey.

He started to wonder how many more things he will have to compromise in order to be with Tina. First, he has to live with the fact that she had willing let another woman do things to her for EIGHT YEARS that only a man should be doing….and act like it doesnt bother him. And, now Tina is saying that she not only doesnt want to take his name, but doesnt want him to be Angelicas legal father. That she wants HER to be in their lives forever! As much as he adored this wonderful woman lying next to him, Henry didnt know how much more he wanted to give in to.

Tina knew she had hurt his feelings…well more like his ego, but she needed him to understand where she was coming from. She needed him to respect her decisions about Angelica now, otherwise if they did take this relationship further he would fight her on everything she and Bette decided for their child.

Leaning forward, she took her thumb, and gently rubbed the middle of his forehead, pretending she was erasing his wrinkled brow.

“Baby, I know how important this is to you, but you and I have only been dating for two months. Marriage at this point is not part of our plans, we are only talking theoretically. But, I need you to understand just how important adopting Angelica is to Bette…she is the one I was married to, so to speak, for eight years. She is the one who planned this baby with me. She is the one who found the sperm donor with me. We talked about, and planned for a baby for years before Angelica was actually born. You cant expect me to make her just walk away from this child that she is so much a part of…who is so much a part of her.” Lowering her hand to Henrys shoulder, she gave it a tender squeeze. “Just as you will always be Mickeys father, she always has been, and always will be Angelicas mother.”

Flopping back onto his pillow again, Henry stared at the ceiling in silence, trying to take in everything Tina was telling him. He couldnt help it…he just felt there was something really unfair about him not being able to adopt Angelica if Tina was his wife. He tried to let go of that thought, but it continued to linger.

Deciding to come at it from a different angle, he asked, “Are you not even bothered by that stunt she pulled? You know Tina, some people would consider what she did as kidnaping.” He had been thinking all the way home about this, and now was the time for him to really get Tina to think hard about what Bette had done when she took off with Angelica.

“She went into OUR hotel room without OUR permission, and took your daughter on a night she wasnt supposed to see her, and took her off the hotel premises. Doesnt that action bother you at all? Doesnt that make you wonder what else she is capable of?”

Closing her eyes for a minute, Tina thought back to the time between when they found out Bette had taken Angelica, and two hours later when she brought her back, apologizing for worrying Tina. At the time Bette had said that she was just afraid of losing Angelica, so she took her for a drive while she gathered her thoughts. She didnt think that Tina would mind since she and Henry were still out enjoying their evening. Tina believed Bette, because she knew without a doubt that no matter how she and Bette were getting along, Bette would never do anything to hurt Angelica.

“Henry, you just dont understand.”

“I understand Tina that she took Angelica from our room and ran off into the night. What would you call that?” Henry ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “Tina, when are you going to get it through your head that Bette only cares about Bette? When are you going to realize that she could really do something harmful to Angelica?”

“Henry, just stop! I mean it. You have no idea what youre talking about. You dont know Bette. You dont know anything about her other than what I have told you, and I dont remember ever saying anything even remotely close to Bette being a danger to Angel. So please….just leave it.”

Tina turned over onto her side facing away from Henry, furious with him for assuming things he knew nothing about. Not able to contain her anger, she decided that she was tired of being silent about how she felt. It was time for her to stop swallowing her feelings, and let them out! Quickly flipping back over, she saw the look of surprise in his face.

“You know what? If Bette were a man we wouldnt even be having this conversation. If she were a man, her rights as Angelicas parent wouldnt even be in question. And, if she were a man, and she wanted sole custody of Angelica, as much as that would kill me, I think she would have a pretty fair chance of getting it!”

“No way!” Henry scoffed, totally exasperated. “Youre Angelicas birth mother Tina. Theres no court that would give Bette sole custody….even if she were a man…which…she….is….not!!” He said the last part with conviction twinged with disgust.

“You dont think so? If Bette were Angelicas biological father, she could argue that because she and Angel are both bi-racial that she could provide a more well rounded cultural atmosphere…she could argue that she knows what it is like to grow up with everyone thinking you are different, not fitting into any group….she could argue that she has been the one who has been the main nurturer while I have been working full time…and, she could argue that I am the one who cheated on her to jump into the bed of man, after only knowing him for a day. Dont you think that a judge would look at all those things when making their decision? That is why it bothers me that you and so many others dont see Bette as Angelicas other parent, equal in her rights as I am. In my mind, and in Bettes, she is just as much Angelicas legal parent as you are Mickeys.”

Tina could see the indignation building on Henrys face, and prepared herself for the attack. “Well, first let me remind you that Bette can think she is as much a legal parent as I am…but she is not. She is not biologically related to Angelica, so just like me, she will only get to be Angelicas second parent if you say so. But, lets put that aside for a minute. Tina, you are the one who told Bette you were pulling the adoption papers. I was sitting right there. You said you changed your mind and didnt want her to adopt YOUR daughter. You told her we were going to start a family, and that you wanted Angelica to be a full part of that.” He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. “Im confused. On one hand you are lecturing me about not automatically accepting Bette as the other parent, but then, just like that, with your own words you have taken that right away from her.”

Frustration was clearly making its way through Henrys normally thick layer of patience. “Your argument with me tonight is the total opposite of what you told Bette in Canada. So, which one is it Tina? “

Laying there, Tina finally let the tears flow that she had been holding in. She knew she had to give Henry an answer, she just hoped she wasnt making another huge mistake. “Im not ready for this,” she whispered. Looking over at Henry, she reached up and caressed his stubbly face.

“We are not ready for this.”





TBC