Chapter 8 (part a)

*Spencer’s P.O.V*

In my junior year, the miserable, yet content life I had came to an end. In its stead, it produced an even more miserable life. In some ways, I don’t really mind, its better then living that fake life.

I always did things that I knew, deep inside, were wrong. I always did things that I knew would make other people happy. So to speak, all I did was for someone else, never for me. I knew how much easier it would’ve been if I wasn’t the person they couldn’t accept. I know that none of what happened never would have if I kept lying to myself. If I kept playing their game, I would still be there, pretending to be someone I’m not. Acting like there’s nothing wrong with killing who you really are, and burying that person deep inside yourself. As though there was nothing wrong with living the way others wanted you, only to have them be disappointed in you.

Well too bad, I’m done with that. I may be miserable, but at least I am who I am. But back then, during the time I thought that it mattered most, it didn’t. All that mattered was that, I wasn’t acceptable anymore.

Junior year destroyed my life, but it built my new one.

The beginning of it wasn’t bad though. In fact, it was probably the best I ever felt throughout all of high school. It was when I first met Ashley, and she first met me.

It was a few weeks after school began and I was already retreating back to my old habits. I had hoped that maybe, just maybe, that year would be different, and it was, just not in the way I wanted it to be. People also got back into their old habits, one of which included bullying me.

————————————————-Flashback———————————————-

This sucks. I’m stuck in the same rut that I was in last year. I was hoping that people would forget about me, but nooo, they remembered every single detail. If their memory is that good, then why can’t half these idiots pass basic trig. I mean seriously, that stuff is a piece of cake. Instead, they put all their attention and brain power on remembering me and the ways that they used to torture me.