Save Me, My Lover

Chapter Five

She didn’t even let the information sit for three seconds. At first, I tried not to look at her because I was afraid of her reaction. Somewhere along the short line; I got the courage to face her. I can’t really describe what the face looks like. It’s just a mix of confusion and anger and sadness. I guess that’s expected.

“What? Spencer, what are you talking about?” She says this all so fast, but luckily I am able to keep up.

I can’t speak so I let my head fall down a little. I can’t speak, but I can stare at the ground and wish for a different situation. “Spencer,” she repeats, “I don’t fucking understand!”

I still can’t speak, but I have no problem letting the tears fall again. It seems that I am doing an awful lot of crying lately. But hey, can you blame me? I honestly don’t know what to do so I decide to walk away from her, as if that would get back those three words.

“Hey, wait,” she says, this time in a more tranquil tone, “Spencer, I didn’t mean to yell. Please stop crying.”

I don’t respond, I just collapse onto our bed. “Go away,” I mutter as I roll on my side, letting my back face her. I shove my head into the pillow.

I feel the bed sink in so I know that she’s on it. She rolls me over so that I am on my back, and facing her. She doesn’t waste any time as she straddles me and pins my arms down when I try to get away. It’s no use…as, she is also stronger then me. She is usually the stronger one, well, except that one night…but I was drunk and on a mission that night. I don’t know what happened there.

“Stop!” She’s back to yelling. I am still trying to push her off, and I am still crying. “Spencer, would you just stop it! Who the fuck did this to you? Tell me.”

“Leave me alone!” I somehow get these words out over the tears.

“Leave you alone? Leave you alone!” She laughs, even though there is nothing funny about this. Nothing at all. “How the hell can I leave you alone after what you just said? Now tell me who the fuck did this to you. I’m going to bash his damn head in.”