I smiled for hours yesterday. I read the letter again and again. I was obsessed with the letter. I mean — No I was obsessed with the letter. I was. I was. Don’t worry, my tears are for love. I wonder if she knows that her love makes this happen. She knows. She knows everything about me. My heart has been idle today. It’s getting annoyed with watching my body and hands pace this room a million times over. My heart knows that there is reason to worry, but it is a lot more controlled than my body and hands. Yes, it’s 2 pm. A reason to worry. Both Ashley’s mom and my mom Paula. I hate her. Her heart is not with us. Both will be here at the same time. My body said that means that I will never get out of here. My hearts says that it will remain in captivity. My eyes have requested silence because there’s something going on in the main hall. I wonder if the receptionist knows that she looks crazy when she’s shouting.

“You can’t be here! Get out!”

“Is it true that you are holding kids here trying to convert them from being gay?!” How many kids have committed suicide here? How many more will you let die?!

My eyes were astonished. There were local news crews everywhere. Reporters pushing in. Flashes from cameras. Was this place illegal? And then a beautiful sight, Ashley’s mom, Christine. I wonder if she knows that she has the eyes of my love. She was leading the pack. Cameras focused on her.

“This place is a disgrace. Normal Path, Inc. should be shut down! There are kids in here so tortured and depressed. The suicide rate here is dramatically higher than any conversion rate that they can fabricate. It’s higher than the national average for students who aren’t even subjected to this madness. I have the records right here! They have been shut down in many other states and now it‘s time to shut ‘em down here!”

How sexy was that?!  My heart says to calm down even though she looks like a future Ashley.  My body says I’ve been in here way to long.  The reception area was in complete chaos. The director of the company was fumbling his words about the suicides. The attendants were trying to push the news crews out. All the kids were looking on in amazement. Wait! My mom. Paula. I hate her. Her heart is not with us.

“Miss…miss… have you placed your child here? What kind of mother are you?! Kids are killing themselves left and right in here? What do you have to say for yourself?!  Miss!

Cameras were pointed directly in her face. Photographs were being taken. My mother had the look of sheer embarrassment. I wonder if she knows that was a sign of her uncompassionate heart seeping out. She so deserves every bit of it. Her face plastered all over the local news. I wonder if Christine knows that she’s a genius. If only my love were here to see this, if only. Paula’s mouth is begging to speak.

“What are you talking about! I…I….I am coming to get my daughter out of this place. They…they…tricked us…..into….ummmm… thinking…this would…help…her…..”

“How long has your daughter been in here? How could you just leave her so long? Don’t you care about her? Over here miss! Over here! Which one is your daughter?!”

I wonder if she knows that she looks like a deer in headlights right now. Her mouth was full of lies. My mouth wanted to smile at the sweetness of it all. It is the first time that everything. My eyes. My hands. My body. My heart. My mouth. My lips. My everything was smiling. It had been a while. Paula. She’s not a real mother. Well, I guess in slang she would be. Paula is approaching me with cameras following.

“Sweetheart….sweetheart…let’s get you home.”

Sweetheart? Her heart is begging. But I have not forgotten that her heart is not with us. Christine had done it! I looked at her with all the love and thanks that my heart could give. I wonder if she knows that she has the smile of my love too. On the way home, at last! My eyes can’t wait for the evening news. But first my heart can’t wait to reunite with my love. Who knew that this was in her? I knew. I know everything about her.

Soon my love soon…