This was it, today was the day…today was the anniversary of Tate’s accident. Spencer reluctantly opened her eyes as the sun came through her window. She had managed four hours of sleep, and that had been one of her better nights. She sighed as she got up out of bed, showered, put on some nice clothes, ate, and then grabbed her keys as she headed to the florist. Just like she had done the previous year, she ordered a bouquet of wild flowers. Tate had loved many colors, and she knew that if he was going to have flowers put on his grave, he’d want wild flowers, nothing girly like roses or lilies. She then continued onto the cemetery. She had planned on spending hours there, talking to her son. What she hadn’t planned on was seeing Ashley sitting down in front of their son’s grave. The shock of seeing the brunette…even the back of her, caused her to drop the flowers in her hands. Ashley quickly turned around at the sound, and Spencer could see that even though she had bags under her eyes and was considerably skinnier, she still looked beautiful. She was actually dressed up in clothes that fit her, and they were nice. She assumed Ashley had dressed up for the same reason she did, for Tate.

            Ashley was watching her son’s grave, was about to start talking, when she heard something behind her hit the ground. She turned around and almost gasped when she saw her wife standing there looking at her with shock and confusion. She allowed her eyes to admire Spencer. It had been far too long since she’d been able to allow herself the pleasure of enjoying another person’s presence and to look at a beautiful woman. Granted, the only woman she actually wanted to look at was standing right before her.

After feeling sufficiently satisfied assessing her wife’s overall demeanor, she was healthy, still gorgeous as ever, she allowed herself to do the hardest thing she’d done in two years. She looked into Spencer’s eyes. Sure they had made eye contact when they passed by each other the month before, but that had been an accident. This move was clearly saying that she trusted Spencer enough to look into her eyes, see her mistakes, see her vulnerabilities, and see how much she still truly loved her wife. It also allowed her to see into Spencer. While the blonde’s appearance hadn’t changed too much, she could see everything within her eyes. The cobalt blue eyes which once held warmth, love, support, happiness and everything the brunette ever needed emotionally, now held an emptiness that tugged at her heart. Eyes that once carried the joy of a life well lived and a confidence which couldn’t be broken, now held a look of loss and confusion. It added to the strain of pain in her heart. She felt as though she had caused that pain. She assumed Spencer was hurting because Ashley had lost their son, it had been her responsibility to look after him. And she felt as though it was her fault for leaving afterwards. She hadn’t bothered to fight her wife on the matter. She didn’t even try to convince Spencer of how much she needed her. She had simply given up and walked away.