A loud masculine shout comes from your left. Before you can turn to see who the voice belongs to her hands is in yours, and she’s pulling you along as you run through the woods. "Jesus." She says. You laugh before responding. "That was just the beginning." 

It’s late now… or early, depending on how you look at it. You haven’t really said much, yet your already worn out, tired of reliving the past, the past you can never escape. You consider pulling yourself out of this situation, but that isn’t an option, and not because you feel you owe this woman an explanation, you owe her nothing, you’re well aware of that. The past is yours, you don’t have to give it to any one.

But you continue because your not doing this for her. No, this is for you, these words are for you. For your sake, so you can finally rid yourself of the demons you carry, the demons you’ve carried for so long. These words, your words are nothing more than complete selfishness.

You think if you finally talk, spill the details of the past, you’ll be able to do it. To move on, away from this dark and empty place. This place that you’ve grown accustomed to, this place you think will always have a grip on you in some fashion.

You see, this darkness has been with you for so long, you can’t remember when you were free of it. You’re probably thinking the darkness started when it became clear that it was over, when it became apparent that the relationship was no longer a partnership, but an ownership.

If you think that you’re wrong, oh so wrong. Your darkness goes back, way back. Back to the time when you couldn’t even explain what was inside of you, when you didn’t know what the darkness in you meant, what it would force you to do.

You remember the first time you started to realize you weren’t normal, and no, you’re not talking about your sexuality. You’ve always considered your attraction to girls normal. No, you’re talking about something else, something that goes beyond this, beyond these political arguments.

But tonight isn’t about that darkness, you’ll get to that in good time. Tonight, this night is about the girl, the girl that opened doors, only to slam the same one’s in your face.