I had another meeting with Mr. C today. He kept going on about how I needed to control my anger. But I don’t think controlling it was the problem, cause I had no problem channeling it into my schemes. I don’t maybe he was right. Either way I was fucked though.

“Ashley,” Mr. C brought my attention back to him. “Ashley, I know you’re a good kid. But this is your last chance,” he tried to warn me. It actually felt like he cared, like somewhat of a fatherly figure, another person I never had growing up.

I already knew this was my last chance though. But I also knew that whether I tried to our not, I would screw it up, just like I fucked up everything else.

“Ok Mr. C,” I just nodded. I’d work on it, for him. He smiled at me knowing what I knew. I’d nod my head, but I’d mess up. I’d mess up bad.

“No more ditching school either,” he added leaning back into his chair.

“Ok,” I continued to shake my head to please him. I make no promises.

“Ok then you’re free to go,” he just smiled allowing me to leave.

“Thanks Mr. C, for everything,” I thanked him for more than just being good to me, but for helping me when no one else cared, even if I was hopeless. He just smiled, knowing exactly what I meant. “I’ll see you at home.”

I see you standing here

But you’re so far away

Starving for your attention

You don’t even know my name

You’re going through so much

But I know that I could be the one to hold you

The next day couple of days I tried to not skip for Mr. C. Truthfully, I was doing it for him, not me. I didn’t want to be here, and I knew I was going to fuck up. So what was the point? But I gritted my teeth and sucked it up. That’s probably how I found myself waiting for Spencer again at cheerleading practice.

“Fuck,” I groaned no longer trying to pretend like I wasn’t looking at Spencer. She knew I was obviously from the deep shade of red her face was. So, I just smiled and enjoyed the show. Maybe cheerleading wasn’t such a bad activity after all.